I'm Regretful (LucyPOV)

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I don't even know why I feel like this. Is it really just because I don't want to risk having these dreams become a reality? I've never felt so distant from, not only myself, but my joy. I refuse to talk, or move, or to do anything. My mind and my heart speak two very different languages, and I've always only understood the one my heart spoke, but for some reason, I'm listening to my mind instead. I cannot forgive myself. I called him a monster. The one person who knows how to fix me when I'm in such a state of mind, can't, because I won't let him anywhere near me. Tears won't even fall. Time is frozen in its place, yet I'm moving through my life slowly. He hasn't even shown up at school, for a week now. What have I done?

"Lucy, I miss you. I need you here but I can't even see. My light has burned out and now I can barely breathe. My eyes are red, just because I'm thinking about what we used to be. Now, it's just me. How can this be?" I slowly turned my head. He didn't realize my window was open while he was singing. I walked over and sat right under my window, right under the window sill, and I listened. My eyes swelled, but no tears would fall, they didn't fall until he said something that literally crushed my heart. My jaw dropped, my tears finally fell, and my mind shut up.

"Two in one, that was the definition of you and me, me and you, too good to be true...but now that solid piece of rock, that we used as an excuse, it finally cracked in two..." He was talking about the unbreakable cement. It broke. He's not the monster, I am.

"Natsu..." It was the first word I had spoken in weeks. I hadn't been going to band practice, I hadn't been answering verbal questions in class, I hadn't even been singing. No matter what happened, I wouldn't open my mouth to anyone, except that one day, when I became the worst best friend in the world. The day I called him a monster. What was I thinking?

"Miss Lucy? Why are you under the window?" Emmit had come in without me realizing. I gasped, jumped ten feet in the air, but the thing that caught Natsu's attention, was the yelp of pain when I smashed my head into the window sill.

"Oh, hello, Natsu! How are you?" Emmit was clueless. I stood up, rubbing my head, and I looked toward Natsu. Just seeing his worried expression fade into a look that told me he didn't see the point in trying with me anymore, it murdered me. I fell to the ground, tears spewed out of me like a waterfall. I had been holding my breath for so long. I- I- I passed out. The last thing I remember seeing before everything went black, was Emmit latching a rope ladder to my window sill.

"LUCY!!!!" I heard him scream from his room. I don't even know what happened after that.

A/N: Hey everyone. So, this isn't like my usual chapters, and it's also WAAAAAAAAYYYY shorter, and I apologize for that. I kind of have writers block and I was asked by multiple people to update as soon as possible and I had half of an idea for a chapter, and that's what you just read. Half of an idea. My usual chapters are two times this size, so it's literally half. Anyway, let me know if you guys have any ideas that you think would be good for the plot, or if there is any books you would like me to write. Love you all, enjoy the rest of your day/night. Goodbye.
~AnimeLover~

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