Out of the Flames

Chapter V. Cycles of Impact

Chapter V.

November 25, 2016.

"Serena please stop going out with him. He is no good for you." Jeremy pleaded with me again.

"Stop acting like my mother or something." I scoffed. "I'm going out with Eric whether you like it or not. So get out of my way." I stumbled past him and he caught my arm holding me upright.

"It's 7:00 and you are already drunk."

"I'm always drunk." I sneered at him and shook his hand off my arm.

"You're killing yourself Serena." He said and in response I slammed the door behind me. I managed to get down to the lobby and to the front doors.

"Good evening Nolan." I slurred.

"Hello Miss Metz. Are you going to be back this evening?" He asked.

"Good question." I smiled and walked out to the limo. I crawled in and looked at Eric. He was wearing a black suit without a tie. I frowned as I saw the pocket square. I plucked it out and threw it out the window as we drove down the street.

He grabbed my wrist and squeezed hard. "You B**ch! What was that for?"

"You don't get a pocket square. You're shoulders are far to big as it is." I said glaring at him. He clenched his fist a bit tighter for a second before he threw my arm back at me.

"Jerk." I muttered. I don't know why I kept going out with Eric. I guess it was mostly because a actress of my standing needed a guy by her side and Eric was gay which meant I didn't have to worry about getting taken advantage of while I was passed out drunk at his house. He also got the benefit of a girlfriend to make sure no one suspected him of being gay.

We got to the club and partied like nobody's business. We danced and drank and did who knows what until the early hours of the morning.

I woke up the next morning in my bed with no idea how I got there. I stretched out my arms painfully and a dozen spots of color caught my eye. There were bruises all up and down my arms I took off my shirt and noticed that my stomach was discolored as well. I looked in a mirror and saw bruises up and down my back. I stared at my damaged body in shock. I quickly went to the kitchen and grabbed as much food as I could. I started eating whatever was easiest to open and washing it down with water. I ate for a while before my stomach felt like it was going to explode. I sat down and waited for my blood alcohol level to go down so my elite abilities could return to me. I turned on my TV and watched a couple of shows before I checked my eyes in a mirror. I could see a tiny line of grey around my pupil which meant that I had about two more hours until I was back to full capabilities. I watched a movie and when it finished my eyes were just about back to normal. Two minutes later I started to feel the tingling burning sensation of healing. A couple minutes later I was uncomfortable as the burning got more painful. Soon I felt like I was being roasted from the inside out and I grabbed a pillow to bite so I wouldn't scream too loudly. I lay there writhing in pain for about an hour before it started to fade. I fell asleep and prayed that my dreams wouldn't return.

I woke up feeling groggy and thankful. I hadn't dreamt about anything during the final phase of my healing. I got up off the couch and grabbed a pear off the counter. I grabbed my phone off the counter and noticed that there were twenty missed calls from Jeremy. I dialed him and waited for him to pick up.

"Serena! Where have you been?" He shouted.

"What do you mean?" I said confused.

"No one has seen you for three days. Not since you decided it would be a good idea to fly down a flight of stairs." Jer said sounding annoyed.

"I don't remember that. I remember you trying to stop me from going out with Eric and then partying 'till about four in the morning."

"Serena, that was two weeks ago." He sounded very concerned.

"No," I struggled to make sense of what that meant. "That, that was last night." I was trying to convince myself that I hadn't just forgotten two weeks.

"That was two weeks ago. It's December 9th. Zach is freaking mad as well as everyone else working on this movie. You are in big trouble. The tabloids are going crazy with the couple of pictures that leaked. As soon as this movie is done I am driving you to a psychiatrist and I'm not letting you leave until you spill your guts." Jeremy promised.

"Fine. Tell Zach to gather the crew and that I'll be back on set tomorrow, and tell him that I pledge to be sober for the rest of the time we are shooting." I told Jer this to get him off my case and so that he might be able to calm Zach down when he talked to him. I hung up then I called Eric.

"Helloo!" He said obviously still stoned.

"Hey Eric, it's Serena, I was just wondering what we have been doing for the past two weeks."

"Living the life. By the way, I am so sorry for what happened last night. We both know you deserved that, but I shouldn't have kicked you that many times." His words were slurred and whiney and didn't have a hint of apology in them at all.

"It's fine, just watch the face next time." I warned then hung up. I sank down on the couch and held my head in my hands. It hadn't started out this way. He had been really nice in the beginning, but as time went by he got more and more abusive. Every time I got sober so I could heal my bruises and my liver, I questioned why I kept going back to him. Then I would have a dream, wash it away with a bottle of tequila and end up back in his arms. The dream reminds me how worthless I really am and I go back to him because he is what I deserve.

I deserve him because I am the reason four people are dead. I don't deserve to be elite and I don't deserve to be loved. I especially don't deserve to be loved by my Edi.

With every punch and every kick I am reminded of the pain my family felt when they died and I know I deserve to suffer as well. As I see myself spiraling out of control on the front cover of the tabloids I see how much better Edi is than I am and I know that even when the time comes, I will never force him to take me back.

I took a sip of alcohol and went to sleep so I could be rested for the next month of filming.

As soon as we finished the last scene of the movie I ran off the set and headed straight to my car.

"Serena!" Jeremy called chasing after me across the parking lot. "You promised to get sober."

"Too bad, I lied. I am done with movies for a while and I'm done with being sober." I locked the doors to my car and sped away. I dialed Eric and agreed to meet him in twenty minutes.

I met Eric at a bar and chugged a bottle of vodka before I got out of my car.

I went into the bar and partied for eight months. I don't remember much of it except for the fact that every couple of weeks I sobered up, healed and went back to partying. Around August of 2017, I started to notice my bank balance was getting dangerously low.

I called a couple of people and got a job doing a movie on the east coast. I almost sobered up apart from a drink before bed to stop me from destroying things in my nightmares. I shot the movie then went back to LA and resumed my cycle.

It was January and I was notified that the movie I was in was being nominated for three Oscars. I managed to sober up and dressed up in a magnificent Oscar de la Renta gown. It was coal black and stunning. I changed my skin to a pale white and my hair to the darkest shade of black possible. I went to the Oscars and was on my best behavior.

As I was walking out I heard Jeremy call my name so I turned around. He walked to my side and I turned back around to keep walking. I barely took a step before I smacked into someone.