the bachelor ▹ dan howell x reader

fin

i waited on my bed in my room. all my suitcases were packed and ready to go. i was just waiting for the call. i wondered what excuse they would make to why i have to be sent home. maybe because i went to dan's room without a date card. they still have that to use against me. although, by the time it was seven thirty i knew that he was planning to eliminate me in the rose ceremony tonight. i lazily pulled out the dress at the top of my luggage. it was the dress i wore the first night. ironic.

after i was done getting ready i sauntered down to the courtyard where the rose ceremony was to be held. i made sure that i did my hair and makeup exactly the same from the very first night i was here. i glanced around and noticed i was the first one there. it didn't really bother me. i just took a seat on the stands and waited. the crew was dashing around. something must be going on. i eavesdropped in and out of conversations.

"all the girls are going to be here in five minutes!"

"daniel needs to tell us who he's eliminating or else we're choosing for him."

"i got him on the phone!"

"moxie, chelsea, and natasha. do we approve of that? yes! okay. we're set people!"

i did a double take when they didn't say my name for the elimination. there must be some mistake. i took a deep breath to recollect myself. wether i get a rose or not, there is no way i'm staying in this hell one more day.

girls began to trickle in, little by little. since there weren't that many girls left, it didn't take long for the room to be filled. soon enough we were all standing in our positions and the cameras were on.

athena was first to receive a rose. victoria was next. then emery and so on. it wasn't long before the large pile of roses transformed into a small floral triad. two girls went up and grabbed their rose before he plucked the final rose up from the empty table. i looked around to see that i was in the midst of the three girls who's names were called to be eliminated. i then risked a fleeting glance at dan.

he knew. murky brown optics were glassy. with tears or worry, i couldn't tell. he bit his lower lip, attempting to meet his eyes with my own but i refused. he studied the rose for what it felt like an eternity. i was going home tonight, one way or the other.

how pathetic.

"(y/n), please would you accept this rose." dan begged as i sauntered pass the three remaining girls. fret clouded his eyes. he was on the verge of tears. it took all the will power i possessed not to do something i'd regret.

"no."

the first ever. the first ever contestant to decline a rose, to make a stand, to realize how ridiculous this whole process is. i could hear the collective gasp from everyone in the room.

"y/n, please," he took ahold of my arm. his voice was gentle and compelling but i still freed from his grip. "we made mistakes."

"no, you made the mistakes," i snapped, raising my voice. "the only mistake i made was joining this dumbass competition in the first place."

"i'm sorry," he plead through tears. i stared at him emotionlessly. i could barely catch a glimpse of his flared freckles on his cheeks. i always loved his freckles. i loved his curly hair too but his deep brown locks were all done up. he was beautiful when he cried. i left.

that was the last time i saw daniel howell.