the bachelor ▹ dan howell x reader

pretty

i was going home.

there was no doubt in my mind that my time was up in the mansion. guilt had completely overcome me. it was a stupid mistake. a fucking stupid impulsive mistake that i wished more than anything to take back. i now hated isadora with every fiber of my being, but even more so i hated myself.

as i walked up to my position for the rose ceremony, i avoided eye contact with both isadora and dan at all costs. he called out a name and thus the painstaking process began. i fiddled with my fingers as the number of girls without roses dwindled.

"athena." called out dan. a sting of envy became present in the pit of my stomach as i watched her sauntered up to dan and pluck the rose out of his hands. i glanced over to the table of roses, soon releasing there's only one left. however, a large number of girls still haven't gotten a rose, including both me and isadora. this is the biggest elimination this season.

dan met my eyes. i suddenly became so overwhelmed with stress until i heard him grit my name through his teeth. i stood there for a moment, stunned at his decision. "(y/n)." he repeated. i squeezed past disappointed and crying girls as i reached out to retrieve the rose.

"thank you." i replied quietly as dan begrudgingly handed over the rose. as i turned around to go back to my position, i met eyes with isadora as she left, not even bothering to say her goodbyes to dan.

***

i tried multiple times to go see dan, but now security were all around his house 24/7. even during the pool party that we had in which he attended he just flat out ignored me. so when word traveled around the eighteen girls remaining would be going to bora bora, everyone was ecstatic, except me. going to bora bora meant that there's no possible way to talk to dan unless on a date, something i probably wouldn't be doing.

on the plane ride there i ended up sitting next to whitney, probably the only person in this competition that doesn't hate me. there's no need to hate me anymore and soon the girls would realize that. i have nothing to be envious of.

whitney made small talk but i mostly wanted to ignore her and listen to music. i tried to play happy songs that reminded me of home and my family but it just made me even more sad. i missed my friends, my real friends. guliana, adam, sam, nicki, omari, elliot, francesca, piper, and more. i missed them all so much. the sudden realization of how much i missed home swept over me. that's all i wanted to do now, my only goal, home. next rose ceremony i would be going home, one way or another.

i lugged my luggage across the deck above the pristine aqua sea along with the other girls to our bungalow until a security guard stopped me half way through my journey. i watched as the rest of the contestants entered the bungalow over the sea. "sorry, im on the bachelor. i need to get to my room. here's my id." i spoke up but he just ignored me and ushered me to the front door of another nearby bungalow.

"sorry girlie, but mr. howell requested that you have separate housing." the security guard informed me as he unlocked the door and then placed the key in my hand. i scoffed and rolled my eyes. of course.

"you can tell mr. howell that he can go fuck himself." i replied which took the security guard aback.

"well that's inappropriate." he chided.

"oh also tell him that i want to go home." i ignored his previous statement and entered my bungalow, slamming the door as i went in.

***

surprise, surprise. i didn't get a date.

instead of going out in bora bora horseback riding and snorkeling like the girls on the dates, i was stuck in a tiny beach bungalow by myself. i, nor the other girls, were allowed to even go outside unless we had a date. i wonder which girl daniel was lip wrestling with right now. bleh.

i was basically counting down the days until the next rose ceremony now. six, five, four, three, two, and now one. one more day until i was free of this hell.

during for what seemed like my hundredth game of solitaire, i heard a faint knock at the door. annoyed, thinking it was the producers for yet another itm, i lazily swung open the door. "ye-" i began but the second i looked up and recognized the figure in front of me i immediately slammed the door in their face.

"(y/n)." i heard him call from outside as i began to walk back towards the couch to continue my card game. i heard the door close behind me but didn't bother to turn around. "you didn't lock the door."

"please leave." i ordered as i plopped onto the couch, still not looking at him.

"(y/n), you have no reason to be mad at me. if anything, i should be mad at you, which i am." daniel said as he took a seat on the couch next to me. "why did you do it?"

he asked me the one question i couldn't answer. the one question i absolutely dreaded. "i don't know." i responded, looking down at my hands. "look, why are we having this conversation? im declining your rose anyways if you decide to give me one." i tried to get up from the couch but daniel grabbed my waist and pulled me back down. he placed a hand gently under my chin and lifted it, forcing my eyes to meet his own.

"why did you do it?" he asked once again, softly this time. i gulped as he intently stared into my eyes.

"why can you kiss pretty girls and i cant?" i whispered, barely audible. dan sighed as his hand dropped from my chin.

"god im going to regret this." dan mumbled to himself so quietly i could barely make out his words that he didn't intend me to hear. he turned to face me once again, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "can i tell you a secret? you can't tell anyone."

i nodded silently and watched as dan took a deep breath. "you know how rachel eliminated both me and phil?" he began.

"yes." i prompted as i sat indian style on the couch so my body was now fulling facing him.

"well, it wasn't because she thought both of us weren't right for her. the night before the proposals she caught me and phil," dan cleared his throat before continuing. "she caught me and phil kissing. maybe a little bit more than kissing."

i gasped, a grin forming on my lips. "are you serious?" i questioned as i began laughing of relief. dan nodded in response, forming a smile of his own.

"i like to kiss pretty boys and girls too." he confirmed before laughing of relief as well, but for a different reason.

"but you were still in love with rachel? so you understand me." i said before correcting myself. "not that im in love with you." dan just simply nodded.

"dont tell anyone this, but after our next stop, new york, we're going to italy. maybe you can show me your family's restaurant and mansion." dan informed me. i just laughed which put him off.

"oh yeah, they have a huge mansion." i replied sarcastically but he didn't seem to catch on. did he think i lived in mansion? my family and i lived in a small apartment above our restaurant. he can't be serious.

"promise me you'll accept the rose." dan said, holding out his pinky.

"i promise dan." i responded, latching my pinky onto his as his silly smile found its way to my cheek as he kissed it.

a/n; sorry for the short chapter lovelies. i haven't read over this yet so sorry if there's mistakes. also i changed some of the chapter names.