Internet Famous.

15.

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of people laughing in the other room. I was debating weather or not to go out there but I needed a coffee stat. I untangled myself from the thin covers the tour bus offered us and climbed down from the top bunk. I took my phone out from underneath my pillow and checked myself in the snap chat camera. I looked a mess, I had a tear stained face...I must have cried myself to sleep again.

I felt so pathetic crying over someone who didn't even really care about me and how I felt.

I went into the back where my belongings were and took out my hair brush, I took off my beanie and brushed the nest that was my hair. I threw my beanie into my luggage and wiped my face with a wet wipe. I felt fresher.

I took a deep breath and made my way into the main room seeing everyone laughing and taking videos of each other. When I entered everyone turned their heads to look at me, my face went heated and I felt a lump form in my throat.

"Hey Allison are you okay, you've been asleep for a while?" Saffron asks me. I nod and give her a small smile. It's all I could offer at the moment.

"Ye-yeah, I'm fine, I'm just gonna make some coffee- do you want any?" I offer the group, they shake their heads and I nod before making my way to the tour bus "kitchen". You couldn't really call it a kitchen as it only had one counter which held a coffee machine, a toaster, a mini fridge and a sink. It's kind of disappointing really.

I grab the coffee beans out of the only cupboard and poured them into the coffee machine, which already had water in it. I turned it on and watched as it crushed the coffee beans- just how Ethan crushed my heart.

The thought makes me tear up but I blink away the tears. I was determined to enjoy today, no matter what. This was my tour too- I had been chosen for this as well. I didn't come here for Ethan or anyone else. I came for myself.

I hear foot steps behind me so I whip around quickly to see who it is. My heart drops as I see Ethan in front of me.

"Allison we need to talk..." He trails off, looking at me- I couldn't tell what he was feeling at the moment he showed no emotion.

"I don't want to talk, we did enough of that over text." I scowl at him, turning away. He comes closer- too close for comfort. "Ethan please just go."

"No! I should have just listened to you, I was just being selfish. I cant help being selfish when it comes to you."

"There's no need to be selfish when it comes to me though Ethan!." I shout.

"Yes there is because if I'm not selfish someone could come along and take you from me and I don't want to lose you. I know we've only known each other for three weeks and yes I know we only properly met each other officially yesterday but I feel a strong connection with you that I've never felt with anyone else before. Not even my own brother." He shouts back. I feel the lump forming in my throat again but I swallow it and breath in.

"By someone, you mean Joe?" I ask calmly.

"Yes I mean Joe but-" I cut him off.

"Me and Joe are friends Ethan, nothing more! I like you! No one else okay but if you can't deal with the fact that I want to wait then obviously this isn't meant to be, obviously it's doomed. I cant be with someone who's going to be jealous every time I go out with a friend."

"Maybe you're right, maybe it is doomed but we will never know unless we try. Can't we just try?" Ethan practically begs. I shake my head.

"My coffee is done." I say turning around again to attend to my one true love. I grab the coffee pot and pour the deliciousness into a mug.

"I see how it is. I'm sorry I bothered you. I'm sorry I ever even messaged you, because if I hadn't we wouldn't be standing here talking about having a relationship that is in your words 'not meant to be'" He says before walking out of the kitchen.

I breath out, not knowing I was holding it in. The tears finally fall. He basically said he regretted everything. Now that I know how he really feels I can move on with my life. I can focus on just me and my career from now on.

I take my mug with me into the main room and place it onto the coffee table. I take my coat from one of the hooks and put it on. The bus had stopped so I decided I should go take a walk by myself to clear my head. 

I grab my mug and head for the bus door, not saying goodbye to anyone.

"Allison where are you going?" Joe asks me. I ignore him and leave. Taking small sips of my coffee as I walk to nowhere in particular. I didn't even know where we were or how I was gonna find my way back but I honestly didn't care right now.