a cry for help • d.h

•5•

Dan's Pov

Dan calm your ass she's fucking 17.
You can't.. you can't.. you're friends and she's a fan.
But she saved my life!

A part of me loves her, admires every piece of her and the other me is telling me to fuck off as I'm eight years older than year and I would think that I kinda wrong.

Phil could tell, he asked if I liked her in a different way, I denied it and he just walked off with a smirk on his face.
God what have I done?

(My song replayed Tyler singing "What have I become?" From Ode To Sleep, but I can't make the reference because it won't make sense cri.
I tried.)

Your Pov

*Beep beep beep*

Your alarm beeped, you slammed your hand down on the snooze button frustratedly and groaned.

Today you would be a loner at school.

You decided to do your shit and get up so you wouldn't get yelled at.
You put on an outfit you liked very much, it consisted of an aesthetic white with black squares top with black leggings, some black flat slip-ons and a necklace Ethan gave you for your birthday.
You also popped your sunglasses in your bag as it was getting brighter in London.

Once you had straightened/curled your silver coloured hair you hurried downstairs to grab something for breakfast.
You still liked your sliver hair, which surprised you. You got in done almost two years ago because you loved the colour at the time and it suited you, it still does.

You were the biggest nerd for aesthetics in your school now so it fitted in well luckily.

You spotted Alfie at your cereal again.
"Alfie get your own box of crunchy nuts." You groaned taking the box from him.

"Going out to the shop is effort." He groaned, brother like sister.
"For once I made an effort to walk, and then awkwardly look for it, then socialise with the cashier.
Your going to be living alone soon, get used to it." You complained, Alfie sighed and sat down with your cereal.

You poured yourself a bowl and put the box back, then joining him.

You ate it up in five minutes and then cleaned your teeth and got your last few bits together before going off to school.
School without Tyler and Alice, how was this going to go.

...

You walk into the school gates remembering that you had gotten a new backpack a few weeks ago that had all your favourite bands printed onto it, including Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic At The Disco, Twenty One Pilots and The 1975.

You loved the bag, you were confident with it.
Only when you were with your friends, as you were always called names and made fun of.
Shit.. shit.. shit.

No (Y/N)! Be confident!

You took a deep breath and continued in, walking to your locker.
You had one other friend who was present in this school but you hardly ever talked anymore.
You wouldn't risk the awkwardness.

"Fucking emo weirdo.." you heard whispers, you instantly tensed up and felt targeted again.
You felt your anxiety levels rise again.
Of course, it never really went away permanently.

You instantly felt insecure, fat, stupid, idiotic and so much more criticism.

It felt unreal how much pressure suddenly flew over you because you were alone and around people who judged you harshly.

You were such an fucking idiot for being so confident.

You are 17, you shouldn't be so self-conscious anymore.
But you are, you are.. and you can't help it.

You go and sit on a bench outside and browse your phone so you don't sit there awkwardly just staring into space.

"Awh look, the tumblr weirdo has lost all her friends."

"Lol fucking emo aesthetics."

"lol she's so defenceless when she's alone."

People's words echoed around you and dug deep into your head.
For the first time in a while you were tearing up.

You were insecure again, and you care what people think.
Your dignity is blurry, and now you care what everyone thinks.

A/N: I apologise and sincerely for my needs to make song references.

I hope you enjoyed and you're excited for the next chapter.
So run down?
Dan kind of found you really attractive, he likes everything about you at the moment and is counting down the days until he gets to see you again.
You won't believe how much he's staring at his phone waiting for a text, he doesn't want to be awkward and start a weird uncalled for conversation.

Meanwhile there is you, feeling insecure at school.
And who knows if it will get worse or not?
Nah, it will be way better when Tyler arrives back.
Then your anxiety will calm its ass.

Or will it?

Okay I'll stop being dramatic ily all, goodbye.