Colours|| k.th + j. hs [Completed]

Orange Juice

       He woke with a start.

Dragging in a sweet, lingering and deep breath as he did. This breath brought life, something that he wanted to give up.

A gift that has already lost it's luster.

The world he just departed from was cold, the air frail and filled with hate. A world inside his mind. HoSeok wanted to leave that world as soon as he entered. The difference with this world and that was the budding fact that in the old world, he was alone. Here, no matter how much he denied it, he felt love.

Slowly, HoSeok opened his heavy and swollen eyelids, coming face to face with nothing but pure whiteness. His world. You could say that this colour in particular was of the purest in it's form. There was no evil lurking behind it's truth. The truth that this colour granted. Rather death, it brought one single opportunity.

The opportunity to live the rest of your days out in innocence. An opportunity where you forget your tainted past.

Pushing his weak body from the ground, HoSeok looked around with glazed eyes. Here he was again, trapped in a room, in his mind. A stark white room in its incorruptible form. Nothing to hide, one thing to grant. Could you say this was heaven? This couldn't be. This wasn't how he imagined heaven to be. So, lifeless.

He was lifeless.

Rather than purity, he felt as though he has sinned. He's taken his life and sinned. This is a dream, isn't it? HoSeok thought to himself, gripping his arm as he stood to his feet. Here, HoSeok felt no pain. Here, is where he was supposed to be. Where he didn't want to be.

HoSeok was confused. Slowly, he rolled the sleeve of his white baggy jacket up to expose his torn flesh. With wide eyes, he gasped, fear and confusion swirling beneath the surface. Gone, almost as if it never happened. Like his past was rewritten. Was this what Jimin spoke of, a way to rewrite his past. Did he, did he too experience this feeling? This emptiness of the white room. A room in his mind.

He couldn't feel the pain anymore. Almost like he's never sinned before, like he is pure. The thought was driving HoSeok mad.

I am not!

   I am not pure of heart! I have never been pure and I will never be.

    The hate radiating from his very being reinforced his lack there of. As if by will, each scar once vanished slowly began to appear, pain retching through his body as they did.
Crippling him. Mind numbing, gnashing of the teeth pain. Red reappearing once more. He wanted it, to feel the pain.

His cries were unheard because here, in this bright white room he was alone. In this room, a room created by his thoughts, HoSeok will always be alone.

"Hey, are you okay?" His voice was as soft as ever, afraid to break the inkling of a friendship between them. To deepen the trench of doubt that has now grown between the two.

"I'm fine." HoSeok whispered, his throat as dry as the day Namjoon found him. When he found him falling to his own demise. A demise caused by him, by his own bleeding hands. In many ways more than one, even if he spoke not of it, HoSeok thanked his lucky stars that he found him. Looking up from his book, he smiled at the boy who was staring intently at him, wide eyes filled with the love of a true friend.

"Here, have some orange juice." Joon whispered, pulling out a bottle of juice from his bag and handing it to the boy who took it with open and trembling hands.

"Th-thanks." HoSeok whispered, licking his dry lips at the burn of his dry throat. The fire knowingly unquenchable as he eyed the bottle. What happened was never spoken of between the two, but as if by unspoken words that reached the heart, he knew because he could hear his voice loud and clear.

"Your secret is safe with me." Joon whispered for his ears only. He took a drink. A renewed and refreshed feeling stirring in his stomach as he did. HoSeok smiled back at his friend.

HoSeok's in his head, he desperately wants to get out.