erased | Changkyun

| 28

⠊warning , slight trigger warning , contains suicidal thoughts ⠊

Wonhos pov

Today will determine my relationship with y/n.

Wonho: Changkyun meet me at the express cafe.

Changkyun: I'll be there in 10.

I drove to the cafe and waited . I ordered Changkyun and myself a coffee . I was just thinking until I saw the door open and saw Changkyun.

"Oh wonho!" I waved at him to sit with me. He took a seat and I handed him his coffee.

"Thank you, so what's up something wrong?"

I drank my coffee first and placed my cup down.

"How's your memory ?"

"Oh! I was going to tell you ! Yesterday while I was in my room I was just staring until a memory I think it was a memory came back. It was whenever All of us ( referring to monsta x ) went bungee jumping. I remember you had a phobia of heights and you went to over come it with us but we all played a game to decide who else would go and Kihyun was chosen and shownu wanted to try it. I also remember when shownu and I went to the ferris wheel and we talked about our feelings." I looked at him surprised. I was really happy that I hugged him.

"Was that it ? Did you remember anything else about y/n?"

"Actually I did, I think whenever we were in 13 , we were both going through some things and I ..... blamed myself for my parents death and I kept saying why couldn't god taken me instead of my parents and tried ending my life but y/n came ....." tears started forming in his eyes. I gave him a napkin.

"Thank you."

"My question is do you love her?"

Changkyuns pov

"Do you love her?" Do I love her ? .......

"Why ? Does it matter she's with you so it doesn't matter." I do

Wonho looked at me .
"Because I know she still loves you , Even if she doesn't say she does or brings you up , you can see it in her eyes. She's in love but not with me but with you." I looked at him in disbelief. I don't know if I should believe him or not.

"What if I do love her ? Why are you asking now?"

"Today I wanted to decide if I should let her go or not depending on your answer."

I looked at him .
"You- you're planing on breaking her ?" I raised my voice.

"I'm not breaking her , I'm letting her go she loves you not me." I looked down.

"I'll leave , and Changkyun, don't try to do what you tried to do last time."

He walked away. He was talking about that day .....

----------------Flashback----------------

When I got home , nobody was home . Hyungwon and jooheon stayed after school to get help. The others weren't home and I was alone. Today I didn't feel so good. Today was the day I wanted to end everything. I hurt someone precious to me , I can't remember anything and I try so hard to remember. My parents aren't here , because of me , I should of been the one to be taken away from this world instead of them. Anger started to build up and tears started to flow . I sat there and went mad . I threw whatever was next to me and broke it . I threw glass at the wall . I pushed everything down . I made the house a mess . I stepped on glass but I didn't feel anything, the pain I felt before already numbed me I didn't feel slight of pain. I took out the glass and started walking . I went to the bathroom and filed up the tub with water. I felt nothing , no emotions, no physical pain or touch . I looked at myself in the mirror and all I saw was a desperate worthless person . My phone started ringing . I ignored it . I turned off my phone. I enter one leg in the tub . I was still fully clothed. I inserted my other leg . I stood there , I sat down in the cold water . I sat there staring at nothing but air. I started to sink myself , still looking at the wall. I closed my eyes and let myself drown.
I heard banging , the banging started to fade away till realized, I blacked out.
I woke up looking at their faces ( monsta x ) all worried . Tears filled up their eyes . I sat up and they all hugged me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jooheon pushed the members away and grabbed me by the shirt.

"Stop jooheon!" Shownu pulled him away.

------------End of flash back----------

I looked to side while wonho left. I left the cafe . Ahh what is he planning to do.....