Torn (harry styles)

19- Tears And More Tears

My heart sank as soon as I saw the unoccupied bench. I'm too late, he's gone. I'm complete out of breath when I reach the bench as I have been running ages. I sat down on the bench and put my head into my palms and sobbed. There wasn't many people around at all so I didn't really care about the looks a couple of old people were giving me. I had just stood up Harry. And I feel so bad. I feel like I'm in the wrong, although from another's perspective they probably wouldn't go if Harry had done to them what he did to me. But I'm not them, there's more to him than what people think. I'm pretty sure of it. I shook and cried on the bench, why can't I handle my emotions anymore? Why am I crying?

I always cry, I'm so pathetic. I have no valid reason to cry, accept the pure frustration of being too fucking late was enough to push me over the edge. Why did I have to be so stubborn earlier. Harry is not going to be happy.

After sitting and crying a little bit longer, I finally get my act together and walk slowly home.

"Darling is that you?" My mums weathered voice called out as I walked through the front door.

"Yeah, mum" I replied sadly.

"Come here lovey"

I approached my mums bed, she looked deep into my eyes. Concert took over her wrinkled forehead.

"What happened baby? What's the matter?" She asked softly. Sitting up in bed and reaching out for me.

My eyes brimmed with tears and I snuffled, sitting next to her on the bed.

"It's nothing, don't worry mum" I sobbed. My shaky voice betraying me.

"Oh honey. It's alright, mummy's here." She whispered sympathetically, pulling me into a hug.

That's it, I can't hold together any longer.

I cried violently into her chest. She rubbed my back and cooed sweetly into my ear. It's not even that being too late to meet Harry was the reason I'm crying, it's just everything. Everything that's happened, the amount he's hurt me, and occasionally been nice to me. My emotions for him are so scattered a round it makes my mind ache, and just being with my mum while she pets me with sympathy is enough to make me cry anyway. I love my mum so much.

"Do you want to talk about it?" My mum finally asked when my crying faded to sniffing.

"There's nothing really to talk about, I'm just having a bad day I guess. Boy stuff.." I admitted, I'm being a drama queen but I can't help it, I just needed mums reassurance today.

The next school day went quickly until lunch time, I can't sit alone again. The embarrassment is too much, I don't want to be alone.

I walked hesitantly over to perry. I like perry, although she was sitting with all the other stuck up bitches;there's a spare seat next to her, so I think I'll take my chance.

"Hey, is it okay if I sit here?" I ask shyly. The other girls are staring at me, then perry, then me again... How awkward.

"Sure I guess, take a seat." She smiled, pulling out the chair for me. I hesitated slightly before sitting down. I don't like these sort of situations but I guess it's better than sitting alone.

As soon as I sat down I immediately regretted it.

"So, do you still like Harry?" Sophie asked me, bitchily squinting me.

"No, and I never did." I defended, annoyance evident in my tone.

"Good because I fucked him last night." She smirked. Not like Harry's cute sexy flirty smirk, her smirk was like a weasel. I really hate this girl. "And I wouldn't wanna like upset you or anything babes." She giggled sarcastically.

So Harry fucked her again. What. It hurts even more every time. I never thought the hole in my chest could get any bigger but there you go, I need to get the hell over this whole Harry thing.. I'm just wasting my time.

Even if I do like him, from now on I'm going to put it behind me and move on.

My whole body feels hot and clammy with rage and hurt, I can't deal with this today. I can feel tears stinging my eyes but I quickly blink them back. I'm not going to waste anymore tears over him. Just no.

The rest of lunch was a painful blur, I didn't listen to any conversation that took place after what Sophie said. I couldn't see let alone hear or think straight.

How dare he tell me to meet him and then go and fuck some girl. If I had of decided to go on time, he wouldn't have been there. He just completely was trying to set me up to be hurt. How could I ever have thought he was different? He's worse than bad, he's horrible. I don't want anything to do with him and I want him to know that.

As soon as the bell went I stood up and stormed off towards....history. Fucking brilliant.

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Hello peopleeeeee, yes I know- another short one. But don't worry, there will be a triple update tonight because I'm baby sitting my brother and have nothing else to do! So enjoy xoxox