Survivor

Chapter 35

Shepard
I was scrubbing already clean dishes down in the kitchen when I heard the door to the apartment slide open and announce Garrus' entry. It only made me clench my jaw and scrub the frying pan harder.
Garrus sighed in relief behind me. "There you are. Joker told me you had left the ship but I wasn't sure if you came home..."
He trailed off as if waiting for me to pick up the conversation there, but I stayed silent. I ground my teeth in anger as I continued to scrub the pan, uncaring that I was beginning to wear the finish.
"Are you okay, Sam?"
That was it.
I spun around to face him, the anger written clearly on my face. "Does it look like I really want to talk right now? Really? Is it not obvious enough to you that I'm pissed off?"
His mandibles pressed close to his face in displeasure. "I was only trying to help you."
"Don't! Don't try to help me! Did it look like I wanted your help? You had no right to interfere! Neither you nor Vega! I'm not a child and I'm sure as hell not blind anymore!"
"I never said you were a child! The fact is, that without that implant, if Miranda would have used her Biotics, you would be crushed right now! As it is, you look like hell after that fight! You need to think about things, Samatha! You can't just go blazing off into everything, because as much as you seem to believe you're immortal, you're not!"
"I had it under control! I wouldn't have gotten into that if I didn't think I was capable of fighting her! I knew I had the Omni-Blade!"
"You're inexperienced with it!" Garrus bellowed back, thoroughly ticked off. "You could have gotten yourself killed! Not to mention the fact that you apparently haven't seen how your damn wrist and hand look now because you used it with your hand still injured!"
"Are you saying I can't learn? Are you saying I don't know my own limits? Because if you know me a whole hell of a lot better, then go ahead and take over!"
"Dammit Samantha! I'm trying to help you, trying to keep my promise to you and you keep making it damn near impossible!"
I didn't think, I just grabbed the pan behind me and threw it at him. "Then leave!"
His eyes widened and he ducked in time to let it hit the wall behind him, leaving a deep dent in it.
We both stared at it in shock until he turned to face me, his mandibles still dropped in shock.
"Then leave," I said, softly now as I stared at the damage done.
Garrus said nothing, only shook his head and spun on his heel to walk away.
He went up the stairs, leaving me to stare at the dent and listen to him moving upstairs until he came back down with a bag packed.
He left without a word, not even so much as a backwards glance.
I couldn't admit it right away, but I counted every step he took away from me, and my heart broke with every one.
Soon, he was gone and I was left staring at the door.
The damage done to the wall sat there, mocking me as a tear slipped down my cheek and I realized what I had done.
I stood frozen in place. My lungs burned as I held my breath, unable to breathe or call Garrus' name out, until it hit me and I ran to the door, calling his name.
The door slid open, but the hallways were empty.
I was too late. He could be on his way to anywhere by now. Those elevators led damn near anywhere, and I knew good and well that I didn't have the access codes to track where he went if I found the elevator he used.
I backed into the apartment until my back hit the entryway wall, and I slid down the wall to sit and stare at the door.
What had I done?
I let my anger get the best of me and had run off the one person who had been willing to work with me. Who had loved me.
  I looked down at my left wrist to see that Garrus was right. My hand was purple, swollen, and now that I paid attention, it was throbbing.
  I lifted it and opened my Omni-Tool to sync it with the home system, with it set to announce every new message.
  It was tempting to send him a message now, but I doubted he wanted to hear from me so soon.
  He was always kind enough to let me cool off. It was only fair that I took the hit this time.
  "Damn you," I cursed myself. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
  I removed my Omni-Tool from my wrist and carried it upstairs and to our room.
  When I reached the doorway, I stopped.
  Drawers were emptied and left open, his favorite blanket was gone, and I knew the bathroom would look much the same. The only thing left was a picture of me I never knew he had.
  In it, I was staring at the center display in the war room, my face scrunched in concentration and stress. My lips were turned down in a slight frown and it was one of the rare times I had let my hair down.
  I remembered it was because it was late and I had thought all but the night shift workers had been asleep. I had been desperately trying to think of any way to find the catalyst, frustrated and tired.
  I picked up the picture, which looked like it had been dropped on the way out, nothing but a piece of paper, something I didn't know Garrus would prefer over the hologram he could have gotten much easier.
  I walked to his side of the bed and tucked it into the drawer of the side table there before I walked to my side and set my Omni-Tool down.
  A ran a hand over my itchy scalp, rubbing with the palm of my hand before I let my hands fall to my sides.
  It was so quiet now.
  Quieter than when he left for work.
  The loneliness was stifling. It was so much that I was sure if I would pick up my Omni-Tool and use the blade, it could cut through.
  I sat down on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes.
  I let my breaths slow and tried to control the prickling sensation at the back of my neck, telling me there's danger.
  I could almost hear the sound of my attackers in the apartment again.
  The cruel grate of the Asari's voice. The deep rumble of the Krogan's, and the sub harmonics in the Turian's.
  I could almost hear their footsteps and shouts of indignation and frustration.
  Almost hear the sounds of their hands hitting the walls as they chased me.
  Almost hear the sounds of my bones breaking beneath my skin.
  My eyes flew open and I realized I was breathing hard and fast.
  I stood and went to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, denying the fear that rose in me at the thought of being alone here.
  It drove me to the closet, where I grabbed the same pistol that had been used to make the bullet hole that was still healing in my stomach.
  I grabbed a few extra heat sinks and carried them to bed with me.
  The heat sinks were deposited next to the bed, where I could easily grab them without moving, and the pistol went under my pillow after I made certain the safety was activated.
  I climbed into bed after it, deciding that the only way to pass the time without contacting Garrus or going insane was to sleep it through.
  I reached over to his side of the bed and pulled his pillow to me, clutching it to my chest as I pressed my face into it to take in his scent.
  I missed him so much already, it made me wonder how he got through the times he thought I was dead without losing function.
  He was barely gone two hours and I already didn't want to move from this bed, where his presence still existed in his scent and the way the mattress was still sunk down slightly on his side.
  My eyes slid open as I grabbed the heat sinks and moved to his side, then set them on the ground beside the bed again, then moved my pillow and my pistol so I was surrounded in all that he had left behind.
  I closed my eyes and pulled the sheet and blankets tightly around me, cocooning myself in all that I knew to be safe.
  I had my face pressed into Garrus' pillow again, and while the odd shape made specifically for Turians made it slightly uncomfortable, I refused to let go of it.
  A tear slipped from my eyes, followed by more as I hoped and prayed that Garrus would come back. Even if it was just to say "I told you so."
  Even him coming back to yell would have been fine with me at that point.
  I just wanted him to come home.

  ((A/N: Whatcha think? Is Garrus going to come home or has he had enough of Samantha? Oh, the possibilities!! Lol
  Thanks for reading, guys! Your support is appreciated more than I can possibly say! Don't forget that if you like this chapter, leave a vote and comment behind to let me know! Or curse me for taking Garrus away... I'm expecting those, too... Keelah Se'lai!))