COLD ➳ JJK✚PJM

[thirty-two]

One hour. Two Hours. Three hours. Even eight hours have passed and the operation has not done yet. It’s already two o’clock in the morning— dawn to be exact, and the temperature inside the hospital dropped into ice cold that sent chills through the bones. But, Jimin did not mind these distractions, he did not mind freezing to death. Where in fact, he wish just to be dead than being tortured by the drowning emotions he felt. Sleepiness hasn’t came into Jimin yet, or he may not be able to sleep for days since his whole screams concern and worriness. All he wanted that was for Jungkook’s condition to be better.

Drowning. He was drowning by the depth of his thoughts. Thoughts about Jungkook’s safety, thoughts about his condition to be better.

Jimin wanted to cry but he just can’t. All the water inside his body was dehydrated that even a single tear wasn’t able to pour down his face. He was broken. God knows how broken he was, waiting on that cold steel bench outside the emergency room where Jungkook was sent. Remembering Jungkook’s smile and all the words he have said on that rooftop came flashing into Jimin’s mind and that made his worriness worse.

Jimin looked at the glass space of the steel door, wishing that any moment, the doctors would come out and tell him that everything is alright but instead, a flashing of red light above the door that keeps on flickering, reminder that the operation was still ongoing.

He has no idea what kind of illness Jungkook has. All Jimin knows is that he was sick and it was serious. Jimin didn’t know why Jungkook wanted to keep it to him but he sure does know that Jungkook has a reason behind it. Either way, Jimin was praying, praying all he could so that everything be back to normal. Normal where him and Jungkook can still laugh together, normal where they could just stare at eacg others features and memorizing every single detail, and normal where they could just show themselves how much they love each other.

Jimin placed his elbows above his shaking thighs and bent down his body toward slowly and let his face rests on his palms. He let out a heavy sigh that created vapors and slowly vanished into thin cold air.

“If ever something will happen to me, don’t blame yourself for it, okay?”

Jungkook’s words suddenly flashed inside Jimin’s mind as he closed his eyes tight.

‘How can I not blame myself when I don’t even know what to do to ease your pain and that even hurts me more. It kills me. Please be okay, babe.’

Jimin thought to himself as his tears started to fill his eyes again. He thought he don’t have water to cry but he was wrong. Silently, he cried and waited for any miracle to happen.

‘Why can’t we just be happy?’

He asked himself.

Why can’t they just be happy? It’s so sad how every happiness has it’s sadness behind it. It’s so sad how every smile, lies a tragic heartbreak.

Jimin stopped from drowning inside his thoughts when the door where Jungkook was being operated suddenly swung open, leaving loud metallic creaks that echoes through the hallways. Jimin turned his head towards it and saw a guy in his late 30’s wearing a white gown and bringing a chart on his hand. It was the doctor.

Jimin then hurriedly wiped his tears and stood up from the bench as he stepped forward to meet the worried doctor.

“D-doc? How was it?” Jimin asked while stuttering and he can’t stop the nervousness he felt.

The doctor turned his attention to Jimin and sighed heavily before talking. “What is your relationship with the patient?” He asked.

“I. I’m his boyfriend.” Jimin answered him with worried eyes.

Jimin noticed that the doctor breathed heavily and held his chart tightly that his fingers turned white. “I’ll go straight to the point. Mr. Jeon is in critcal condition.” The doctor said that made Jimin froze from where he was standing and stared intently at the doctor.

“W-what? What do you mean, doc? What do you mean critical condition? Tell me!” Jimin exclaimed and placed his both hands on the doctors shoulders and shake them repeatedly. Jimin can’t stop the warm tears that escaped from his eyes and it slid down his cheeks.

“The cancer cells are spreading throughout his body. I’m afraid that his body will not be able to take so much pain.” The doctor continued and Jimin just stared blankly at the doctor while his mouth was partly opened. He froze. It’s like his ears suddenly stopped from functioning.

‘The cancer cells are spreading throughout his body. I’m afraid that his body will not be able to take so much pain.’

‘The cancer cells are spreading throughout his body. I’m afraid that his body will not be able to take so much pain.’

His words keeps on echoing inside Jimin’s head like a song on repeat. His mind won’t accept what he just heard.

“Cancer cells? H-how? I don’t understand?” He asked nervously, eyes starting to tear up again and his voice breaking.

“The cancer cells inside Mr. Jeon’s body are spreading out like wildfire, even his medicines won’t take effect.” The doctor explained further but that just made Jimin felt even more confused.

“I- I don’t get it. Cancer? How can Jungkook have cancer? He— he was healthy.” Jimin said as his voice was getting weaker and weaker.

The doctor looked at Jimin and stared at his eyes, “Have Mr. Jeon told it to you?” He asked.

“Told what? Told what, doc?! Tell me!” Jimin shouted at him and started shaking his shoulders again.

The doctor breathed heavily before answering. “Mr. Jeon was diagnosed with lung cancer when he was sixteen. He’s been going in and out of the hospital to take care of his illness. At first the medicine was effective, but lately, he was sent here again since he collapsed and that his body was getting weak. That’s when we discovered that he stopped taking his meds.” The doctor explained.

As the doctor’s words was absorbed by Jimin, slowly by slowly, his knees surrendered that made him kneeled on the floor as his hands slid down from the doctor’s shoulders to his hands.

It was silent. Silence devoured the area and after a few seconds, soft sobs were echoing. Slowly, the sobs goes heavier and heavier. Jimin was crying hard. Jimin sobbed and looked up at the doctor with teary eyes.

“P-please save h-him, doc. Please. D-do anything to s-save him. I’m begging you, p-please save him.” Jimin said between his sobs.

“We tried to do everything but his body is getting weaker and weaker. The best thing we should do right now is pray. Pray for Mr. Jeon’s sake.” The doctor said and tapped Jimin’s shoulders softly. “If you’ll excuse me, I still have other patients to attend to.” He continued and started walking pass by Jimin but Jimin grabbed his hand, stopping him from his tracks.

The doctor looked back at Jimin, “What is it?” He asked calmly.

“H-how much time d-does he have, doc?” Jimin asked while still kneeling on the cold floor.

Asking that question sends stabbing pain on his chest but the doctor’s answer ripped his heart apart.

“If his body will accept the medications, he still have one week or less.”

~
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