Dumating na ang araw ng ball, kaya sa bahay nalang muna ako tumuloy, kasi nand'on gown ko't make up artist at ang hair stylist ko.
This is for my fucking grades, kaya ako pumayag na magpamake up at magpaayos ng buhok. If it wasn't for Chem, I won't do this. And, this is a thank you gift nalang siguro for Thirdy, because he was always there for me.
So, I thank God kasi siya 'yung makakapartner ko, para makapagthank you ako. But it would be damn better, if my partner was Jho.
Then, I wore my gown tapos my hair looked like this. It's just simple but it matched my red off-the-shoulder gown.
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Something like that, na may hulog hulog thingy. I just wore my black stilettos and looked at myself in the mirror.
I've never been this.. girly! God damn it, ba't ba kasi may ganito pa'ng nalalaman ang Chem.
Then, unexpectedly, Thirdy came.
"H-hi." Sabi ko, taena nakakahiya! Hindi ako nainform! Shit, nemern!
One thing's for sure, today, I'll be me. I'll be a girl, trying to forget that I have feelings for Jho.
"You look gorgeous, as always." Di ko alam kung bola 'yon o ano ba. Basta, alam ko masaya ako ngayon. It's... my fantasy. 'Di ko alam paano o anong mangyayari, pero today I'm gonna be a girl, looking for it's prince. Today.
"Haha, thank you. Let's go?" Yaya ko, tumango naman siya. Pumunta na kami sa venue, and do'n, I felt I was a princess.
***
Nagsimula na ang sayaw, 'yung kamay ni Thirdy nasa bewang ko, tapos 'yung isa nakahawak sa kamay ko. 'Yung kamay ko naman, nasa balikat niya, tapos 'yung isa, nakahawak sa kamay niya.
"Thank you for teaching me how to love, Bea. Thank you, for making me strong." Pagpapasalamat ni Thirdy habang sumasayaw kami.
"Y-you're welcome. Thank you din sa'yo, kasi inintindi mo 'ko kahit hindi kita mabigyan ng chance." Sabi ko, sabay kagat sa ibabang labi tapos yuko.
He lifted my chin, "It's okay, I promise." He assured me, then he kissed my forehead.
Sumayaw lang kami, tapos no'ng patapos na 'yung kanta, I hugged him. God, if Jho isn't here in my heart right now, for sure, na kay Thirdy ako ngayon.
Then the next song played. Thousand years, then this time, dalawang kamay niya nasa bewang ko, tapos 'yung akin nasa may leeg niya.
But still, I took a glance at Jho & Ged, and it hurts so much. Ba't kasi dumating pa 'yang Ged na 'yan! Tangina, ang sakit.
Palihim 'kong pinunasan ang luha 'kong tumulo, at itinuloy nalang ang sayaw namin ni Thirdy.
"Shh, tama na. 'Di talaga maiiwasan ang sakit pag nagmamahal ka." Sabi niya.
"Oo na, tama ka na." Biro 'kong sabi at sumulyap muli sa tumatawang Jho at Ged.
Pilit na iniharap ni Thirdy ang mukha ko pabalik sa kanya, "Oy, tsk tsk tsk sabing 'wag na diba?" Sabi niya.
Pagkatapos ng song, niyakap ko siya. "I want to say I love you, but I don't wanna lie. Those 3 words are meant for somebody else, and I'm sorry it's not you. Haha, gan'on na nga ba ako katanga?" I bitterly said.
"Nope, 'di ka tanga. Umaasa ka lang talaga na one day, mapapasayo rin siya. And as I've said, it's okay." Sabi ni Thirdy. God, why?
Pumunta ako papalapit kay Deanna, whose partner is Josh, the volleyball player.
"Josh, kausapin ko lang muna si Deanna," Pagpapaalam ko kay Josh.
"Yeah, sure." He said then umupo na siya sa upuan niya, chit chatting with his friends.
"Wong, ang sakit sakit na." I said, teary-eyed, as we got out of the venue, papuntang rooftop.
"Bei, alam 'ko. Alam 'ko. 'Di ka naman magkakaganyan kung hindi mo siya mahal." Sabi ni Wong.
"It just hurts everytime, one day she acts as if she has feelings for me, and one day she'll be cold. It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts, everyday of my life. It fucking hurts, when I remember I love her. Why does it have to be like this? Ako nanaman ba ang magsasakripisyo? Ako nanaman ba ang magpaparaya? Tangina, ang sakit sakit sakit sakit na." Sabi ko habang lumuluha.
Umupo kami sa rooftop, and decided just to stay there for a few. I looked up, then my heart was shattered in to pieces.
It hurts as twice as it did, everytime I'm in a peaceful place. When I look at the stars? It reminds us of our star-gazing night, while playing truth or dare.
"Uy," Wong's eyes sparked, as she saw Jia bringing 2 hard liquors.
I wiped my tears, "Ah, this is the life! Thanks, Ji." I said then smiled at her.
"Ano nanaman ba'ng problema ng magpare?" Jia asked as she sat down beside us.
"Maddie."
"Jhoana."
"Woah, at this very moment? I think you should enjoy. It's the ball, fellas." Jia said as I opened a bottle of liqour.
"Tss, pa'no ako mag-eenjoy kung ang view ko ay ang sweet na sweet na 'di naman magkasintahan?" By saying those, Jia got what I meant. Then, I sipped sa hard liquor, direct from the bottle.
"A, ganern. O, ikaw, Wong? Anong problema kay Maddie? Okay lang naman siya, a?" Jia asked.
"I..." Wong started to break down, and she was sobbing. Bestie goals, haha.
I drank from the bottle, again. "Whoo! Ang tanga ni Bea!" I shouted.
Then, to our surprise, umakyat sina Jho at Ged dito sa rooftop. This hurts, so I took another drink from my bottle.
'Di man lang niya nakikita na nasasaktan ako. Na umiiyak ako. Kasi wala naman siyang pake, e. I don't know, maybe I should... I should...
My thinking was cut as Jho spoke to us, "Uy, ba't kayo umiiyak?" She asked.
"A, wala. Dinadamayan ko lang si Wong, may problema kasi, e." I explained. It's hard, it's so hard.
"Oh," She just said in reply, then she went back to Ged.
So, as I was thinking,
I want to let go of her,
But I love her, so damn fucking much.
A/N: Here it iiiiiiiiiiiiiis!! Hope you enjoyed, Whoo at dahil magkakaroon ng ATENEO-LA SALLE Finals, may update kayo sa akin mamaya!! Mwamwa!
