My Best Friend, My Love (JhoBea FanFic)

Grief

(A/N: Baka medyo mature content, hehe.)

|| Isabel Beatriz de Leon ||

"Argh!" I shouted out of frustration, pain and grief. I wiped the new set of tears that came down rolling from my eyes using the back of my hand.

I'm at Maki's. I just can't go home sa dorm sa sinabi ko kay Jho, it was a fucking sudden confession.

"It's not your fault, bes. Tutulungan kita, kung gusto mo nang ilet go si Kia-" I cut Maki off.

"How can I even forget one of God's most beautiful creations? Maks, she didn't give up on me kahit na nasasaktan ko siya, at kahit alam ko na mahal parin niya ako. Then, why would I give up on her?" Sobrang denial ko pa.

"Bes.. Even if sabihin mo 'yan, di mo na mabubuhay si Kianna. Accept the god damn truth, for pete's sake, Isabel Beatriz." Sabi ni Maki.

I was shaking, and sobbing at the same time. "Why do you even expect me to forget about Kianna? It's the first god damn day, Santos. It hasn't been even a day."

"Pero kailangan, Bea. Don't give up on Jho, instead. It's what's Kianna wants, right?" Isa pa 'yan. Jho.

"Jho has Nico, Nico has Jho. Sa'n ba 'ko lulugar 'don?" I heard Maki sigh.

"Bea wants, loves Jho, rather." Ano ba'ng panlaban ko do'n? Sa bestfriend? I'm so tired of being a bestfriend. So tired.

"Still, ano ba'ng panlaban ko do'n? I just love her, but she loves Nico. And Nico loves her." Sabi ko.

Everything we're talking about is just making me cry a lot more.

"If you love her, then let her go." What the hell is Maki talking about?

"I can't." I said, not looking straight.

"If you can't, then why the fuck are you sitting down here and not fighting for her?" Sabi ni Maki.

"What's to fight for, when the one you love the most has this person who's making her happy already?" Tanong ko.

"Di mo kayang ipaglaban, pakawalan mo nalang." Maki!

"Why are you deciding over my life, Maki? You have yours, I'm just asking for advices." Sabi ko.

"I'm giving you an advice!" Sabi niya.

"No, you're not. You're trying to control me, Maks. Please don't." Sabi ko.

"Okay, I get it. So what's your plans after the burial?" Tanong nito.

"I'll probably go somewhere far away, kung saan 'di ko makikita si Jho. I don't wanna get hurt while she's there, being happy with someone else. Basta, kung saan siya masaya, do'n ako." I said as another tear dropped.

***

Nandito ang pamilya ni Kianna, friends, and teammates sa kapilya kung saan ang katawan ni Kianna.

I was sobbing, once more. What the hell is new?

"Hija," Ani Tita at tumabi sa akin. She's not crying but I can see pain in her eyes.

"Yes, Tita? Is there anything you'd want?" Tanong ko at agad na pinunasan ang luha ko.

"I know it's hard for you, even for your Tito and I. Thank you, hija. If it wasn't for you, hindi na sana magpapagamot si Kianna. But I know Kianna doesn't want to see our tears." Tita said at hinagod ang likod ko.

"Sorry po, Tita. If I had hurt your princess back then, and even now. Please, forgive me." I apologized.

"It's okay, Beatriz. What I know is minahal mo ng totoo si Kianna, noong nabubuhay pa siya." Ang bait ni Tita, sobra.

"I still love her, Tita. I just love her in a different way now." Sabi ko.

"That love will never be gone, hija, I know. Kianna's father and I have been through a lot, when we were still in college.

I got pregnant, but Kianna's father and I were just friends back then, and we took it to the next level. Even if we did it, just for Kianna.

And then her father and I broke up when Kianna was 2 years old. I tried forgetting him, I tried to change that love I had for him.

It changed, but it went back to how it felt when things were okay. I tried, but I never succeeded.

But, Beatriz, thank you for loving Kianna, ha? Thank you for giving her even just a pinch of hope when everything was too hard for her.

Sinubukan niyang magpagaling para sa'yo, Bea. At alam ko na kung sino man ang mahal mo ngayon, maswerte siya." Swerte?

Jho is such a lucky girl because of there's an asshole who truly loves her?

Heck, yeah. That asshole was me.

"Sya nga pala, Bea, pinaaga ang eulogy kasi babalik na 'yung kamag-anak namin. And there's one slot left, ikaw nalang?" I nodded.

***

People spoke their hearts out, until it was my turn. All eyes were on me, for heaven's sake!

"Good day, everyone. I'm Bea de Leon, Kianna's ex. So, here it goes.

My relationship with Kianna when we were still in Poveda, was never easy. People judged us easily.

But Kianna made things easy. She was the first girl who held my hand in public, and it felt like I was so lucky to have her.

A few days back, I remember what it felt to know about Kianna's illness. I wanted her to promise me that she'd fight. That we'd fight, together.

But the Man up above, took my angel as His. And I'm not frustrated, because the Man up above is now taking care of my Kianna.

So, Kianna. I won't make thisnlong, I love you, baby and I can't wait for the day that we'll meet again." I said saka bumaba.

My tears were falling that time, my lips were trembling so I wanted to keep it short because I didn't want to prolong the pain.

I didn't want everyone seeing me cry damn hard.

While I was talking, I noticed Jho. She was late. I sat sa pinakaharap, then covered my face with both my hands.

"B-bea..." A familiar voice said, it was Jho.

I just looked at her then covered my face with both my hands, again.

"I know you're in grief right now, but Bea, about what you said yesterday, can we please talk abou-" I cut her off.

"Shut the fuck up and forget about it. Ayaw ko nang makausap ka pa."

-----
A/N:
Sooooo ayun. We all understand na nasaktan ang bea natin so yeaaaaah!

"Never shall we sink." Kapit lang mga behs! Wag tayong magsisink. Kaya pa yaaaan!

Anyways comment your thoughts about this chapterrrrrrr!!!!

And follow me sa twitter as well at @jxxjb1415 aaaaaand yun. Ty for reading, lovelots!