Detours • kenneth san jose

10. Kenneth

Gotchu, Bro

"I love you, Cassie. Always, and forever."

Wiping my tears and then sniffing, I settled the frame by my bed side table. "I'm glad that you finally admitted, bro. I'm happy for you." Sean suddenly said as Mathew stupidly smiled at me.

Obviously, I was surprised and completely caught off guard. "I thought you guys were asleep!" I exclaimed and then Mathew attacked me on my bed and then carried to engulf me in a bone crushing hug... or wrestle?

Sean clapped his hands. "We're glad that you finally admitted your feelings, brotha." He picked up his phone. "Josh, Will, you can come in now." He said and then grinned at me like an idiot.

The two came in the room in less than a second and basically, they set me up. "Oh gosh." I buried my head in my hands. "I swear if this becomes highkey to everybody, I'll forget that you guys are my best friends and that you're my sibling, kuya. I will break all of your faces!" I threatened the four of them.

Earning a chuckle, I felt someone hook their arm at me. "Relax, Kenny. Everybody already knows it. You and Cassie are the only ones who were not aware all this time." Kuya Mathew told me.

"What the fuck?! What do you mean by everybody already knows about it?" I asked furiously.

"You know, too much denial is an affirmation. Everyone knew you love her, it just took you long enough to recognize that." Will explained. Wow, I can't believe that I'm seeing and hearing the serious side of these people before me. Interesting.

All of them lied down with me on the floor with a bunch of bed sheets and pillows on it. "So, what now? What's your plan? Are you going to ask us tips about dating? Or even ask us a favor for surprises?" Josh teased me.

There was no point in denying now. I just looked back at the photo that was on the bed side table. "I don't know. I don't have any plans. She's better without me. I don't want to hurt her again, not anymore. Never again." I said.

And then that's when Kuya Mathew stood up. "Kenneth Paul, when will you ever stop blaming yourself? It's not your fault! For goodness sake, iPhones will soon be transparent and you're still like that? It's been years, bro! When will you realize that you're not the one who caused what happened to Cassie? No one even blamed you! Stop hurting yourself and Cassie!" He started raising his voice on me a bit and I just remained head down.

"He was right, Kenneth. It's been so long. Forgive yourself." Josh told me. I've never seen him this serious except when rehearsals and during competition, of course.

Will just patted my back and then Sean backed them up. "Bro, you're not a bad person, just wounded. It's about time for you to give yourself a chance to be happy." I just listened and my brother and best friends' words seemed to have dawned on me little by little.

They were right. It wasn't only me who was injured, I was hurting Cassandra all along too. I closed my eyes because I feel it coming. I let my tears fall as I leaned back against the wall. Then I felt my brothers arm hook me again. "What did I do?" I sighed and asked them dumbly. Of course I knew what I did.

Josh retorted. "Through the years, all you ever did was break her heart. That's what you did, bro." Josh isn't really honest right there, note the sarcasm. "What's your plan now?" He asked me.

Looking at them intently, I sighed again. "I don't know, like really. I'm afraid to do anything. I'm thinking, and I'm quite sure that it's pointless." I finally said.

"Pointless???" They all asked in chorus.

And then, I remembered when our eyes met earlier. She immediately looked at the opposite direction. "Yeah, I think she's slowly learning how to let me go. If you didn't notice, she's been avoiding me those past few days when I was at the hospital and she's been very awkward with me since the Cathy incident. And when we're on our way home, she avoided my stare, which was not her attitude. I mean, you know how she'd always be the first to greet me whenever." I paused. "I can feel her slowly drifting away from me. So don't even bother making a plan." I finished.