Messed Up Love // Chandler Riggs // fanfiction

11)

Chandler's POV

You're not good enough for her. Plus she has a boyfriend. Leave her be and don't interfere. Says the voice in my head that tells me I'm better off dead.

I placed my razor blade which I picked from my shaver and placed it on the centre of my wrist, letting my feel the coldness of the blade.

Do it.

Then I dragged the blade through my already scared skin, letting the red liquid pour out. A sensation of excitement was running through my veins, telling me to more over and over again. But I just watched the blood slither down my hand and dripping on the floor.

I placed my hand over the sink, so I wouldn't have more blood to clean up on the floor. I was thinking about Lauren, how she called me instead of anyone else. Did she care for me? That night, when she fell asleep on my chest, I felt happy, I'm only happy when I'm with her. I'm afraid that'll all go to waste.

A knock on the door pushed me out of my thoughts.

I opened the door and there she was, Lauren.

"Hey, can I come In?" Her voice was shaky, and I knew to let her in. I nodded, making sure to put my bloody hand behind my back so she wouldn't see the cuts, although she'd see the faded ones on my left hand.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll just be a minute" and with that I took off running upstairs and washing the blood off my wrist and hand, it was still bleeding but I thought if I put a bandage over it then it'd be fine.

I made my way back downstairs and sat next to Lauren and placed my hand on her knee. I made sure to put a sleeved shirt on aswell.

"What's up?" I asked

"I'm so sorry if I disturbed you, it's just I didn't know where else to go." She was starting to panic and all I could do was hug her, tightly. Reassuring her that I'm here for her. I pulled away and asked her,

"Calm down, now go through what happened, I promise I'm here for you."

"Well I was realised from the hospital in the morning, right after they told me my baby girl was okay. I got the bus home, because Gerard took the car after he saw us. When I got home he was sat in a chair in the living room. Waiting for me. I told him that he should sleep, he looked really tired. He replied that he didn't need sleep, he needed answers. I asked for what and I said to why I'm such a whore. Well we got into a really big argument which led to me telling him that it wasn't his baby. After that he punched my stomach hard and left" Lauren lifted up her shirt for me to see a massive bruise on her belly. I frowned.

That had me thinking. It wasn't his baby. She cheated? I never knew her for that type of person, but I can understand seeing the circumstances she was in with Gerard.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you Laur-"

"That wasn't all" I nodded telling her to carry on.

"Tell me I'm crazy but when he walked out, I saw black spots on his body, and his eyes turned black, like he was turning into the shadow figure in my dream about you" she looked down at her feet, like she actually believed she was crazy.

"I believe you. But you said it wasn't his baby? Did you cheat?" I questioned.

She shook her head, tears started to swell up in her eyes.

"Did you lie to him. Is it his baby?"

Once again, she shook her head.

"Were you raped?" I said calmly, trying not to trigger her in any way. She stayed still for a moment, until she nodded and she started crying heavily.

"Come here" I pulled her into my arms and rubbed my hands up and down on her back, I kissed the top of her forehead too. I just let her cry into my chest, and I will, for however long she needs. She did understand me, she was in a dark spot aswell. It's not just me who's going through this.

"You're the first person I've told. It happened months ago and you're the first person I ever told" she lifted her head up, so I can see her finely. Her face was red and splodgy from crying so much.

"It's okay, I'm here for you Lauren. Always. I promise...... I- I had those dreams too"

"What?" She asked, looking up to my eyes.

"Yeah" I ran my hand through my hair "I used to dream of you dying, but now it's me dying"

"Oh" was all that came out of her mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before"

"Do you think it's real?" She looked serious.

I thought it was, although I didn't want to admit it. I shrugged and tried to change the subject.

"Want a drink?" She smirked and asked me,

"The strongest thing you've got please" she chuckled and I smiled.

"I've got a lot of alcohol here thanks to my mum."

"Where is she?"

"Dead"

Ooooooo

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