I got you

I'm so confused

It's been a few weeks now since I joined this campus. It is quite far away from where I lived. I always hang out with Potpot friends whenever I am on break. Mello likes taking pictures of me, mostly stolen shots. Regina is always around them, but she has a separate group of friends. She is always talking with Ella. I still don't understand her. I still keep distance to Mello, but we communicate through messaging, just because I don't want to make Regina jealous when she is around.

Christmas is coming. Potpot friends decided to celebrate it in advance at Mello's house. They invited A.M, Stella and me to come over. I know Mello's mom really well, her name is Lorna. She always talks about Mello's dad, and how is Mello. She always messages me too to come over even Mello is not around. She is like my second mother so I call her Mom.

Mello is a very conservative, quiet, and polite person. Whenever I wear shorts outside, he will be like "Please change the shorts, I don't like it. It is too short." or if it is already late at night, he would send me home and make sure I am safe. He is stricter than his Mom. Sometimes, if her Mom came late at home, he is the one waiting for her in the middle of the night for her. Of course, he will scold his Mom, like as if he is the father of the family and her mom is being a teenager. If I feel cold he would give me a jacket. He is very generous. He always brings three handkerchiefs with him because he doesn't like being sweaty outside the house. He would often go out in the middle of the night just to buy food. If you see his room, it is the most organize room I've ever seen. It is more organize than mine actually. Whenever I am in his room and he would take shower, he respects me not get dressed in front of me after he showers. He has this funny routine with his hair, it would take him ages before he would finally finish fixing his hair before he goes out.

Her mom cooked for everybody tonight and it's all delicious. I can't wait to try them all. Everyone is having fun, singing, and drinking including Mama Lorna with us. It was a wonderful night for all of us. Suddenly, Regina came to the party. No one has expected it. Mello looked at me like, he doesn't know this. He didn't actually tell Regina about this party that's why he is kinda shocked that she is here. Well, he doesn't need to explain anything, it is just a party. Mama Lorna yelled "What? Who's girlfriend? What girlfriend?" like as if she doesn't know it and she laughed. Mello still welcomed her inside. We are all in the garage having the time of our lives. I just want to enjoy my vodka here and sing "Umbrella" by Rihanna. Man, I'm the queen of the videoke. Topher and Ella are having fun and sprayed some water on us! We are all wet and laughing. We are running all around outside and being so fun and free. Mello joined us to have fun, he left Regina inside to get some food. After a while, we are all looking for Mello. The next thing we know, he sent Regina to the taxi waiting area and came back to the party.

Finally, the night has ended. We are all walking on our way to taxi waiting area. While we are walking, Mello held my hand in front of everyone and doesn't want to let go. Everyone was walking in front of us and we are left at the back. We are walking slow and holding hands. Man, holding hands!!! You know how it feels? It feels confusing. There's a lot of things playing in my mind like, is he drunk now? Is he playing with me? Is he flirting with me again? What happened before he came back? There is one thing I am certain of, and that is he is confused too and there is something wrong. I tried to let go of his hands but he said "Just." I kept holding his hands until we all reach to the waiting area. He gave me a beso and told me to sit in front next to the driver which I did and left. Damn, this night was so fun until I felt confused. Mello, what will I do to you?

A few weeks later, I am skyping with Mello. "I'm gonna tell Mom that you are dating someone else instead of me." he is joking with me and referring to my Mom.
"I will seriously kill you, and slap you," I replied and laughed.
"What are we gonna do? Are we both free tomorrow? Let's go for pasta?" he asked.
"Pasta would be a good idea. By the way, are you guys joining the field trip? Stella, A.M and I will join." I said to him.
"Yeah, everyone is joining. Do you have a seatmate already on the bus?" he asked.
"I think I will be seating next to A.M and Stella will be seating next to Joanna," I replied.
"Okay that's great, I will be seating next to Nicko." he emphasis.
"Well, that's the best you have. Is Regina coming?" I asked.
"Yeah, I think she is," he replied. Why isn't he sure? Is there something wrong with them?

During the field trip day, I am seating next to A.M. Opposite to me, there's Regina and her friend seating. She is being so loud and like seeking for attention. Can this day be just normal? I was talking with Ella and she mentioned that Mello and Regina broke up a few days back. I think is is why she is being loud so that she would get Mello's attention. Well, it's not gonna work with Mello. There is a speech we are listening to, and I am sitting next to Stella. All of a sudden, Mello was like "Come here! Psssst!" whispering at the other end of the seats. I gave him an impression of "why?" and then he replied with a hand gesture to come over and sit next to him.
"What do you want?" as I came near, whispering and sit next to him.
"I want to take a nap," and he lean on my shoulders and covered his face.
He slept on my shoulders during the entire speech and presentation. Man, i'm so confused.
At the end of the day, Potpot friends including A.M and Stella are swimming and we are all just having fun. This is what you call "We don't give a fuck."

A few weeks later, our dance troupe is ready to compete and my Potpot friends are so ready to support us in the battle. Mello did not watch our performance. He was sick, he said his tummy is aching. I check on him by messaging him how is he feeling. I wanted to come over to check on him physically. He never got this tummy aches before. Maybe not that I am aware of. We didn't win the dance competition. There are groups who dance better than us seriously. It was a great experience dancing Hip-hop-Jazz. I don't feel bad about losing.

A few days later, I was chatting with Mello. He said his tummy is aching again. What is wrong with him? I am so worried because it is already in the middle of the night and I can't sneak out of the house. I called Topher to check on him since he is near their house. Mello doesn't answer his phone either. The next thing I know, he messaged me and say "Did you send Topher here?"
"Yes, I did. I am so worried about you." I replied.
"Lol. I just went out to get some burger," he laughed. It feels odd, I know there is something wrong with him. I can feel it.

Graduation day for Potpot friends is coming including Robert's batch. It was at a convention and I have to go there. I want to support all of them all the way.