nevermind + poetry.

i am a gentle thing

everything was alive and blistering and you like to dissect girls and examine the space between rotting brains and tired hearts  

your hands are everywhere, everywhere, everywhere and i am nowhere 

my little bunny rabbit heart jumped out of my chest, leaving bloody foot prints across my lap. i am short of breath, everything is too fast and too scary. my fingernails are bitten down to the bone and you stick around for a few moments to watch me unfold

i am a little girl and i am so afraid, i am not strong not powerful not beautiful not incredible not a n y t h i n g 

you are tall and your smile shimmered in the evening light, your eyes are strong, narrowed as you look at me and my insides bubble and churn, boiling over into my throat so i choke on them 

this does not feel okay and i feel death weaving its way into my veins, your hands are one thousand degrees and they sear into me and i want to tear all off all of my skin and run away, raw and empty and alone 

but you are everywhere, pulling my strings and i am afraid, little bunny rabbit wants to run away, so so so far away 

my lips are stitched closed, my body is caged and my mind wanders in between your teeth and down your spine 

i want to be free but you tell me that this is free, ask me if i love you and i nod, i don't know why, but i do