If You Have Ghost... you have fucking chaos [COMPLETE]

#4 Five rock star vs. alcohol

I literally have no idea what is this hahaha 

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After the fiasco on the beach we decided to go back to the hotel with Martini has his dislocated nose thanks to either Martin or Linton, but I'd say Simon, he loves teasing the poor guy. Once we got back to the hotel we decided fuck it it's a day off let's get drinking, well excuse me THEY decided to go out drinking. As the only one who has any common sense I went with them to prevent chaos... TRYING to prevent, trying is the key word here.

So here we are.

"Fuck yes!" Simon whoops as the bartender brings around the 6th? 7th? rounds of shots. I just sigh and take a sip from my coke as they all down their shots and of course they reach stage one of drunkenness: horny.

"So babygirl" Tobias smiles as he starts caressing my thighs.

"Jens... If you won't move your hand I will break it for you" I smile sweetly as I slowly look at him with a smile.

"Bullshit" he rolls his eyes and I just shake my head.

Of course each and everyone tries on with me except Mauro who even drunk has common sense. After a few more shots and pints of beer everyone reached staged two except Mauro who stopped before he got shitfaced not like the rest of the cattle. So yeah. After managing to convince the cattle that we should leave we slowly were making our way back to the bus which is the most fucking challenging thing ever; with five shitfaced middle aged man and with it being dark and two of them being 5 foot nothing it's even more difficult. I had Tobias on one shoulder and Martini on the other as Mauro thought easier if I deal with the 'under 6 foot' squad. He was supporting his son and Martin, while Simon was serenading to himself while walking in fucking serpentine across the road in front of us while hugging his empty beer bottle. It all would have been fine if it would not have been 3 am and Simon would not sound like a tone-deaf velociraptor.

"Mauro please let me kill him" I say flinching as Simon sings louder.

"I am considering your offer" he sighs as he drops his head. "Remind me to never let these fuckers get drunk outside the hotel or bus"

"I promise you that" I sigh.

Slowly but surely we got back to the bus and suddenly all of them decided that they can walk now; and all of them started stumbling to a different direction. I felt like a fucking border collie trying to shepherd a bunch of sheep. Suddenly Martin was missing and panic set in until I spotted him seemingly flirting with a lamp post, don't get me wrong it was a very attractive lamp post but come on.

"Martin sweetheart we gotta go" I say softly and put my arm around him.

"No! I don't wanna leave her... I love her" he slurs as he hugs the lamp post. Oh for the love of...

"Darling... what would the fridge say on the bus...?" I look at him playing along hitting myself mentally.

"You are so right!" he exclaims and suddenly takes off "running" towards the bus but seconds later he falls flat on his face.

"Fuck sake..." I groan and face palm myself. I walk up to him with a sigh and help him up... well trying to until I realized he passed out. "Mauro!" I shout then as I look over I see him struggling with Linton. "I'll take it from here" I say as I grab Linton. "Persner passed out can you grab him please?"

"Of course" Mauro nods then walks off to collect the guitarist.

"Nobody loves me!" Linton suddenly burst out crying scaring the shit out of me. Oh for fuck sake...

"Of course they love you" I say it in a sweet tone and caress his cheek.

"No they don't! You're lying" he sniffles as he pushes me away. I swear I will bitch slap into the next millennium so hard he will fly past the Death Star.

"Baby, I love you" I say as I gently turn his face towards me.

"Really?" he looks at me as he stops crying. "I love you too so much. Like I really do. I want you to marry me. Right now!" he slurs as he "kneels" –by that I mean stumbles onto his knees- to the ground and takes my hand while looks at me or at least I think he does as his head moves around like he is on a fucking merry-go-round. "Will you marry me?"

"Yeah sure, why not" I agree before he goes into whole depression again, but I jinxed it as he start bailing again and I punching myself mentally.

"I am so happy that you are marrying me!" he cries while hugging me tight.

"Oh for... What the fuck happened?" Mauro asks as he walks up to us carrying Martin.

"Well you are my father-in-law now, so hey papi" I sarcastically wave and he just rolls his eyes.

"Sometimes I seriously think he should have been a blowjob" he sighs then then carries Martin back onto the bus.

I put Linton to bed after promising everything he wants and with Martin, Linton and little Martini –who climbed into his own bunk by his own free will- being in their there's only two missing. Tobias and Simon; I don't even want to know what are they up to, hopefully with a little luck they have drowned in the nearby river so at least I would have less two to worry about.

I put my jacket on and decide to go look for them. After an hour search in the freezing cold I managed to find them both leaning over a short fence Simon waving condom and Tobias waving a fucking phone charger. What the fuck are they doing...?

"What are you doing?" I ask then suddenly both of them 'shhhhhhhh'-ing me, sounding like a mentally challenged snake whose father was a deflating balloon.

"You scared them away!" Simon exclaims and pouts.

"Exactly!" Tobias rolls his eyes and I'm just standing there figuring it out if they will EVER make any sense at all.

"But what? What the fuck you two been doing?" I look at them confused trying to sound as calm as possible as deep inside I want to strangle both with that phone charger. Why the fuck does he even has a phone charger with him?

"Oompa loompas!" they both exclaimed in unison and I literally face palmed myself. "We were trying to catch Oompa Loompas"

"Yeah sure. I've seen some near the bus" I say then suddenly they push me aside and run towards the bus and of course falling flat on their faces, then slowly get up and keep on running.

Once they get back onto the bus I close the bus door and lock it putting the key deep into my pocket. By the time I turn around Simon and Tobias were passed out hugging each other on the sofa. Well they have hell of a morning ahead of them tomorrow.