It's High School (Completed)

Chp.11~ Aftermath

"Teresa's POV" 

I couldn't stop starring at the girl who looked back at me from the mirror, her thick hair wasn't in its usual messy assortment of waves, but this go-around, she took time to straighten it out. Her frosty eyes looked narrow when her long strands of velvety eyelashes were covered in mascara. The beauty mark that had appeared just above her lip a few years ago sat isolated all by its self. She didn't enjoy the way her hips dipped in when they met her thighs, or the way her face had grown circular like they did in the third grade.

This girl that I was so familiar with was me.

I looked the exact same I had yesterday, and every other day before that, but today I felt different. It wasn't a sense of maturity or sexiness like I had read once going through Lola's backpack, but a painful shiver that had ran down spine.

It didn't hurt. I felt completely fine physically, but somewhere in me knew that what we did was wrong, yet I remembered so badly wanting him. It was a sensation that had never washed over my body before, and all I could think about in that moment was Trevor.

I tried to swallow down all the negative thoughts I had because at the end of the day, I said it was okay. I said I was positive that I was ready, that I was completely sure, but it was too late to stop when we had already finished.

My eyes welled up. I didn't want to cry out loud and worry Trevor. I felt disgusted knowing that he saw me nude and vulnerable, probably wishing he had broken up with me back in Florida, so he could move on to a prettier fan with beautiful tan skin and a gorgeous smile.

A tear rolled down my face like a stream across the sidewalk. Trevor was an amazing person, and I didn't want him feeling like he could've prevented this, or he was the reason I felt this way because he wasn't.

I was. I felt this way because I put myself in this position, not him.

A memory replayed in my mind about a discussion with my mom and sister.

"Sex is something that should be cherished between a husband and a wife," she said. "Being in the heat of the moment can cause you to feel something that later will be gone and regretted." Her voice echoed throughout my head. Our family wasn't very religious, but when it came to sex my mom had felt a type of way about it, especially since she had my sister before she could finish college.

But my mom was right because I was regretting it, all of it.

I should've stopped, I should have just said to stop, but I didn't, because I didn't want to seem weak to Trevor.

I looked away from the mirror and just let the few silent tears fall. I clutched onto my stomach in hopes of me feeling better, but nothing. I felt nauseous, I felt revolting, I felt like a terrible person.

A small knock sounded at my door. I rapidly wiped at the tears pouring down and straightened up my clothes, trusting that my eyes weren't to puffy, or my cheeks weren't too flushed.

"Come in." I stranded my throat to say without cracking.

"Hey," Trevor's head peeked in the door. "There's a surprise downstairs." He nervously grinned.

"Okay." I replied. I grabbed my phone off my bed and tried distracting myself so Trevor wouldn't notice the dry streaks on my cheeks, but he stopped me in my tracks anyway.

"Wait," He told me, closing the door behind him.

He reached for my hands and stroked them cautiously, "are you sure you're okay?" He whispered. His light blue eyes were dull and dark as if a rain cloud had floated above them.