Confessions of a closet lesbian (GirlxGirl) - A lesbian love story

Sorries

2nd January 2012

Dear Diary,

Onto the more dramatic portion of my new years eve.

***

The light coming in through the open door made it hard to tell who was stood in the doorway, but whoever it was had seen us together and I needed to catch them before they could tell anyone. Before I could say anything the person let out a small sob and ran off, disappearing into the crowd of swaying bodies. Well shit.

I pushed Sarina off of me and went searching for my clothes, pulling them on in a rsh and tripping over more than once.

Still laying in her spot on the bed Sarina raised herself on one arm.

"Where are you going? Whoever that was is gone now." She reached an arm out for me, her eyes beckoning me back.

"I think that was a friend of mine. I need to fi-" She cut me off before I could finish.

"No you don't. You have me to entertain you. Come back to bed, I'm lonely." She smirked and moved to a more provocative position. I tried my best to ignore her as I pulled my top on over my head.

"Sarina I can't. I have to find her. She was upset, she could tell everyone, I just- I need to find her."

"Jamie then? She's a big girl, Dana. She can look after herself." She wrapped the blanket around herself and made her way to where I was standing. She lifted a hand to my face and rubbed a thumb across my cheek. "She isn't worth our time."

That stung, and I batted her hand away from me. She sighed, and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Look Dana, she obviously has a crush on you or something, which you clearly don't return. She just wants to waste our time and get in our way. Stay here with me and I can make you forget all about her. You know I can." She smirked at me, patting the bed next to her and letting the blanket slip from her hands. I stared at her in disbelief.

"Even if that is true she's my best friend. She's upset and it's my job to be there for her. I'm going." What was I even still doing here? I left the room quickly without looking back. I heard Sarina huff in annoyance and flop back on the bed as I closed her door, before I took off running. I had to shove passed dancing teenagers to find my way back downstairs. Where would she have gone? What if she left? I shook my head and set about trying to find her.

After searching pretty much the entire house I crashed into the nearly empty garden, looking around frantically and breathing heavily. I breathed a sigh of relief and straightened up when I saw her on a bench at the end of the garden. She had her arms wrapped around her knees in front of her, her face pressed against them, hiding her from prying eyes. I walked over and carefully sat on the bench next to her. She didn't look up.

"Jamie..." She sniffled, and I sighed. "I'm sorry." I didn't know what else there was to say, and sorry seemed to cover everything pretty well. She didn't respond, so I continued. "I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you and spending more time with Sarina. She's not my friend, you are. Honestly, Flynn was right. She is a bitch." I offered. She gave a watery chuckle and looked up to meet my gaze. Her eyes were red and puffy, showing she'd been crying, and her tears had left tracks down her pink cheeks.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She sighed.

"I'm sorry too." She laughed again. I looked down at her, confused, and she smiled. "I should have told you sooner, then we wouldn't have been in this mess to begin with." She moved out of my arms and sat back to look at me properly. I couldn't help but notice how shiny her eyes had become with tears. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "I love you, D." She tried to offer me a weak smile but I couldn't stop the shock from appearing on my face.

***

So I guess it turns out that Sarina was right. Eventful night, right?

D x