Confessions of a closet lesbian (GirlxGirl) - A lesbian love story

Regrets and discoveries

15th January 2012

Dear David,

I met up with Sarina...

***

“Hey D, what’s up?” She leaned up on her tip-toes to kiss me. At the last second I turned my head to the side, making her lips land on my cheek instead of my lips. She eyed me suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

“About what happened at the party...” I stopped, noticing the disgusted smile on her face.

“I should have known. Don’t tell me, you regret it, it never should have happened.” Her tone was sharp, filled with disdain.

“It shouldn’t have happened!” This was good. It was better to be angry than nervous. “I do regret it! I was stupid.”

“No, this is stupid. Don’t give me all that bull about wishing it never happened. You loved it. You wanted it. In fact, you started it.” Placing her hands on her hips, she looked at me expectantly, waiting for my reaction to her undeniable logic. I sighed.

“I know but that was then and this is now. Whatever we are... Whatever this is, it needs to stop. We can’t see each other any longer.”

“You’ve got to be kidding. You know you want me.” She stepped closer, pushing her chest against mine. Unwilling to let her distract me, I stood firm.

“No, I did want you. That is until I found out what you were keeping from me. You knew about Jamie the whole time. You knew that I was hurting her and you didn’t even say anything! You could have at least told me!” She stepped away, her eyes betraying the anger she was feeling. I could see it burning in the depths of them.

“So that’s what this is about. Why do you even care?! Last time I checked she wasn’t the one you were pining after!” I felt my mouth fall open. She knew about that?

“I care because I care about her! Did you even like me? You knew I had a crush on you... You used it against me? I can’t believe this...” Stepping backwards she put her hands in the air, as if in surrender.

“You care about her do you? In what way I wonder... You’re making an awfully big fuss about someone who’s just a friend. So what if I knew? That was all it was to begin with, a fun way to mess with the lesbian. Then I got to know you Dana, I got to love you.” Shaking my head I backed further away.

“Get out...” I could barely manage a whisper. I tried again. “Get out.” She began to protest but I cut her off before she began. “Get out!” She stumbled. “Get out, get out, get out! I can’t believe you! How didn’t I realise? God, I was so stupid. I couldn’t even see what was right in front of me.” I could feel hot tears threatening to fall and knew Sarina had to leave soon. I couldn’t let her see me cry. “I said get out!” With that she nodded, her face an expression of shock. I waited until I heard the front door slam before falling to the ground and pulling my knees up to my chest. Letting my head fall into my crossed arms. As the tears began to fall I reached for my phone, sending a message to the one person I knew I could count on for anything.

Gray, I need you,

got some baggage to unload,

you up for it?

D x

***

I told Grayham everything and like the dependable big brother he is, he held me while I spilled my guts and promised not to tell anyone. Of course he also made me promise to never keep anything like that to myself again and call him whenever I needed him, no matter what he was doing.

I’m exhausted David.

Until next time,

D x

A/N: So, I had an idea. I’m running low on inspiration and the only reason I’m uploading today is because I feel like I owe it to you guys, therefore I’m going to open a competition of sorts. This is where my idea comes in. I’d like each of you to prove your love of Confessions to me by sending me something. I’d like fan art. I know it’s weird that an author is asking for fan art but I’d really like an idea of what you guys think of the characters and how you picture them (not necessarily like the cast). Of course this is optional; it would just really cheer me up considering I have a lot going on right now. I promise another update soon and if I don’t update, feel free to spam me and remind me of my promise. I love you guys, how much do you love me (or Confessions for that matter)? GMA x