guns & roses / fillie

nine

Finn's POV

"I can't fucking do this anymore dude," I breathed heavily, my chest burning like fire. I ran my hands through my sweaty hair and shook my head. 

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Finn," Dane furrowed his eyebrows and stuck the gun in his back pocket. 

"This has gone way too fucking far, Dane, and you know it." I anxiously looked down at the teenage boy laying on the ground, motionless, covered in blood. 

"He should've given me the money on time," Dane shrugged, turning on his heels. "Let's go," he demanded. Wyatt and Jaeden immediately followed behind him without hesitating. I looked over at Sophia, who returned the stare with her large blue eyes. Her eyes were glossy and I could tell by her face how scared she was. She's too young and innocent to be involved in this. My heart sunk as I stared at her big eyes that reflected terror. She bit her lip and turned around, walking in the direction of the other guys. I slowly began to walk behind her, staring at the bloody body on the floor. 

"Finn?" 

The small voice immediately made me snap out of my thoughts. I looked down at our dangling legs as we sat on the familiar edge of the tall building. 

"Are you alright?" 

"What? Yeah, sorry," I shook my head.

"Finn," Millie reached over and gently grabbed my hand with her soft hand, giving it a small squeeze. "It's okay. You don't have to be scared, okay? You can tell me anything." 

"Yeah, yeah I know, I just-" I stumbled over my words, "I've um, I've just never told anyone about this and I wasn't really planning on it. I just don't- I don't really know where to start." 

"Take your time, Finn," Millie faintly smiled. 

I inhaled a shaky breath and looked down at my lap. "Um, it all started when I was 16. So about a year ago. I met this guy at school and um, we became pretty close, I guess you could say. We hung out a lot, went to parties, all that stuff. He told me about um," I paused, "he told me about this drug thing he ran. He had some secret sellers and he uh, he wanted me to be one. I turned it down because I didn't wanna get involved, and I thought he'd just drop it. But he didn't." 

Millie continued to stare at me, listening carefully to every word I spoke. 

"He um, he started to threaten me. He even went as far as threatening to kill my family." I rubbed my hands slowly on my pants, trying to hide the fact that my hands were shaking. "And I doubted him. I knew he would never go as far as that but um, the next day on the news... there was a shooting near my house. I soon found out my um," I paused once more, "my brother was shot and that he was in critical condition in the hospital. That's when I realized that he was serious, so I knew I had to take his offer." 

I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head, trying to not let the haunting memories get the best of me. I inhaled yet another shaky breath and with everything in me, I fought back the tears. "A couple days after I accepted, um, my brother..." my voice cracked and a single tear fell from my eye, "he was pronounced dead. There was nothing more they could do to help him. They never found the shooter, but there was no way I could tell anyone that I knew who it was. It was the worst feeling in the world... watching my parents fall apart, wanting nothing more than to find out who killed their precious Nick." I sniffled and swallowed my tears, my throat feeling as if it was closing in. 

"Finn," Millie whispered. She put both of her hands on my thigh and rested her forehead on my shoulder. After a couple seconds, she lifted her head and looked at me with her glossy eyes. "I'm so sorry, Finn." She raised her hand and placed it on my cheek, wiping away the tear with her thumb. 

I bit my top lip with my bottom teeth and shook my head. "I didn't wanna do it. I wanted nothing to do with it but he would've kept going. So I um, I met his other sellers. Two other guys that were my age, and a girl about a year younger than me. The two guys didn't really seem to mind being a part of it but, God, did I feel bad for the girl. I knew that she was guilted into being apart of it, and it killed me knowing that we were both in the same situation." 

Millie nodded along, her eyes still glossy. 

"So we were forced to do all of these different kinds of drugs throughout the time we were doing all of this. Some that I didn't even know the names of. We had parties with a bunch of other people almost every night. We lived in a shitty little house in a deserted town where all of us basically had to sleep on top of each other. We were threatened every time we had refused to do something, so um, we just had to keep going. We were constantly on different kinds of drugs, and it was clearly taking a toll on all of us, but we didn't stop. We couldn't. It especially took a toll on the girl, with her being so little and all." 

Millie looked down and a few tears escaped her eyes, soaking her cheeks. 

"It wasn't a good time, Mills. It... it was bearable, but it wasn't a good time. Eventually we were all used to the same daily routine, but it was horrible. We were all crammed living together, we never ate any decent food, and we were hardly even allowed to shower and take care of ourselves." I paused in attempt to recollect myself. "Then um, there was this guy that we sold to... about my age. He didn't give us the money that we were owed, and we um, we needed that money for food and other things. So um, the guy, you know, that threatened us and whatever, he decided to take it into his own hands. None of us really knew what he was planning on doing but um, he made us join in on his plan. His plan to kill him."

Within an instant, Millie's entire expression changed. Her eyes became less tense and her mouth slowly opened. "God no," she whispered, "please, no." 

"So we killed him," I stared blankly forward, tears running down my face, "and God, I can't even explain the feeling. It was the most gut-wrenching feeling. I wanted to fucking die right there knowing what I had just been a part of." 

"Oh my god, Finn," she whispered once more. 

I looked down and tears had soaked my cheeks without me even realizing. "But that's when I decided I had enough. That's when I realized we had gone too far. So um, later that night, everyone went to a party and I claimed I had a really bad hangover from drinking the night before, so I somehow convinced them to let me stay in. As soon as they left, I um, I grabbed all of my stuff and shoved it in a bag and left. I sprinted down the deserted sidewalks, not headed in any certain direction. I just had to get as far away from there as possible." 

"And that's how you ended up here," Millie spoke softly.

I nodded my head, using my sleeve to wipe away the many stray tears on my face. 

She scooted in closer and wrapped her arm tightly around my shoulder. "I don't even know what to say." 

"I have no clue where they are right now. Probably trying to fucking hunt me down." 

"No, they aren't, Finn, don't say that."  

"You don't know them like I know them, Mills."

"They aren't gonna hurt you, Finn." 

"They can, Mills, they can. They're smart. Really fucking smart. They'll stop at nothing to find me and-"

"They're not gonna hurt you, Finn," she whispered, "we can go to the police and they can-" 

"That's the last thing we can do. That's not even an option. He'll find me and... he- he'll kill me."

She shook her head. 

"I shouldn't have let you get involved in this, Millie, if they ever found you-"

"They aren't gonna find me, Finn. And they aren't gonna find you, either. You're safe here. No one can hurt you here, okay?" She gently grabbed my face in her hands and locked her eyes with mine. "Nothing's gonna happen to us." 

A/N: kind of short but a TON happened. what do you guys think? 🤔😏