An au in which every wound of your soulmate will appear in your body too but in a flowery manner. If you are with your soulmate, the flowers will be gone. But once they are dead. It would remain there and the wound that caused the death will be..
.
...
After being drunk the night long on Chuuya's birthday, Dazai placed the passed out Chuuya on the bed. He cleaned the table they used and just sat on the opposite side of the bed. Dazai think about stuff that drunk Chuuya said at random. Mostly, he was not affected by all of this but one sentence is stuck on his mind for a while.
"Hey! Bandage! You have the thing that is called "no longer human", then you shall know what being human is."
He never were straightforward on asking some of this weird and malicious questions but he seem to not care about it. The words pass on to his brain. From ear to ear, he tries to think about it for a while. He hoped that it won't make him awake for a while. Even it is a long day and pure exhaustion ate them up, Dazai felt so uncomfortable.
"What does it mean to be a human being anyways? To express emotion? To live or something? To have things you do? Breathing?"
He just lay down on his bed and thinking about that. He can not really understand the question at all. He do not know what a human is. If it is all about the emotion, well he ain't a human. He never have guilt or pity or whatever that is.
No longer human. I am no longer human? Maybe that is why I crave for death that never come. Maybe that is why I am really tempted on committing suicide. What is it?
Questions keep bothering him and gave him lack of sleep. He just stared at the ceiling and thinking about life. Once that Chuuya woke up, I will ask this thing my self. But the temptation is really making my head go round.
On times like this, he always do one thing. One thing that Chuuya hates the most. He promised Chuuya that he won't do it again but it is really tempting. He decided to do it. He thought that Chuuya won't know it. As long as they are together, the flowers would stop growing anyways.
He went to the bathroom any got a razor. He slides his finger on the sides and cuts himself on the fingers. Just for experiment, he looked at Chuuya's hand and found nothing. He decided to do it.
He unwraps his bandage-filled wrists and notices the cuts that he placed there within a month or so. He took a deep breath and held the razor to his other hand and slides it down to his wrist. Cutting it deeply, blood starts to flow and Dazai just watched. He did not react to the pain because he felt numb by it anyways. He watched the crimson red fluid just flow from his wrist and suddenly, he recalled something.
About,something.
About something important but can't recall any of it. Maybe the human thing for something to do with it. Maybe he is just having a weird feeling because of sleep deprivation. Or maybe the alcohol he drank earlier this night.
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He decided to take a bath on the middle of the night to wash down the blood and cool of a little. Maybe the pressure is just weighting him down. He think about things that he deal alone like always. He became too independent of these little things but time came when Chuuya would listen to his problems. They will talk about it all night long. Chuuya always convince Dazai about the good in life. He just sat there, thinking.
After he washed himself, he changed his bandaged and put on his pajamas. He lay down next to the sleeping ginger and watching as the time go by. Stuff he did just don't work this time and he is still thinking about the human thing.
It is almost 2 am when Dazai have slept. His deep breathing just really matter now to the pretending Chuuya. He did not sleep well and woke up while Dazai is having a bath. There is a feeling of coldness in his entire body and pain coming from a part of the muscles or something. Maybe he just drank way too much or too quick but the thing is, He got a weird urge and a weird feeling when he woke up. A familiar sensation that bother him for some specific but unidentified reason. He decided to shrug it off and go to sleep with Dazai. He will talk to him.
