Accidentally In Love (NCIS: LA Densi Fanfiction)

Chapter 60- Eruption

Chapter 60- Breaking Point

Kensi's POV

The next few weeks went by quickly. We got a pretty major case, which kept everyone's minds off of the drama that has been going on; but there's always some sort of aftermath. We closed our case today, and everyone was sitting around quietly. It wasn't the ideal way to close a case: the suspect swallowed his gun while being apprehended by Callen and Deeks. Sam and I were holding off some other gunmen when it went down. Callen of course buried his dread and sat in an eerie silence. Deeks, on the other hand, perfered to act like everything was okay by being obnoxious and blabbering on and on. Watching someone shoot their brains out takes everyone differently. 

"So Kensalina, whatcha workin' on there?" Deeks said, rolling over to my desk on his office chair. He still looked like that same golden retriever I fell for years ago, but there was a darkness beneath his eyes now. This job had aged him so much. 

"Paperwork." I replied. Deeks had asked me the same question about fifteen minutes ago. 

"What kind of paperwork?"

"Just paperwork, Deeks. Go bother Eric, I have work to do." I snapped. When he didn't retort, I looked up to see his face laced with a little bit of abandonment. I immediately regretted yelling at him. We've both been through so much, and yet I'm still pushing him away, even if he's the one that needs someone right now, not me. 

"Fine." He said finally, and marched up the stairs. His desk chair went rolling across the room until it crashed into a pole and came to a steady stop next to Callen's desk. The air felt heavy and I sighed deeply. I am such a horrible person when it comes to dealing with feelings and emotion. After a few minutes of wading in my own guilt, I stood up and went upstairs to find my boyfriend. 

"I don't understand why this is affecting me so much. He killed three men that had a wife and kids. I should be happy he isn't on the earth anymore." Deeks said quietly as I entered the gym. He was shooting a basketball into the basket but failing miserably, which I guess made him madder.

"Watching anyone die is hard, Deeks." I answered, and stepped closer. He was still a few yards away from me, but I could feel the angry energy radiating from his sweaty body.

"I know that. I watched you die, Kens. Believe me... I know."

His words hit me like a train every time he brings up my death. To him, that must have been the ultimate betrayal. I didn't even think...

But in that moment, something changed in me. Something snapped. I was a dormant volcano that became active in that moment. I erupted.

"Fuck you, Deeks. You know perfectly well they would have killed me if I didn't do what I did. I know I hurt you, but you have no right to keep throwing the guilt on me. You don't even know how hard it was to be away from you for so long. Think about this, Marty Deeks. You had the chance to move on and forget about me because you knew I wasn't coming back. Well I didn't get to move on in any way. I was alone and the only thing I could do was think of you and it was killing me. I couldn't contact you or sneak back to LA until I was out of danger. The only reason I didn't rebel against Hetty's rules was I knew I would be killed for real if I went back prematurely. I tortured myself so that maybe we could go back to how we were before. Now, I don't think that will ever be possible." Tears began streaming down my face, and I wiped them violently with the back of my hand. Deeks looked at me with wide eyes and and open mouth. He was stunned, as was I at my own outburst. I think I had just reached my breaking point. 

"Kens-"

Before he could reach out and touch me, I turned and ran out of the gym. I couldn't bear to look at Deeks after I basically let out everything in front of him. He isn't supposed to see the emotional side of me.

I ran until I found myself sitting outside in the cool evening air against a wall. Goosebumps erupted on my bare arms, but I didn't want to go back inside and face everyone. God, I'm a mess. I took out my gun and did what I do when I get nervous or unstable: take it apart and put it back together. The smoothness of the cool metal between my fingers calmed me quickly, but small tears were still dropping from my nose and into my lap.

Maybe an hour passed before the tips of my fingers were almost bleeding from handling the gun and my face felt raw from rubbing my eyes and crying. It's not often I have an emotional breakdown, but when I do, I fall hard. 

I slowly picked myself up from the pavement and began to walk back to Ops. It was past dusk now, and the sky was a dark shade of purple the faded into a dark black. There was no moon out tonight. 

As I grew closer, I heard faint voices coming from ahead. One of them was defiantly Deeks. Suddenly, a warm body grabbed me and pinned me to the wall of some building. I was caught off-guard, and didn't get the chance to fight back before my hands were pinned above my head. I wiggled and yelled, but a familiar pair of lips stopped me dead in my tracks. 

"Kens. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't realize..." Deeks said softly and pressed his lips back against mine again. We stood there in the growing darkness and I just melted into him. My mind went completely blank and my body buzzed with life and satisfaction. He eventually released my hands and I intertwined them into his messy blonde hair. He grasped me around the waist and pulled me closer. Things heated up pretty fast, but voices behind us interrupted the moment. 

"Woah, woah, woah PDA guys. Geez." Sam yelled and Deeks jumped back.

"Yeah, no one needs to see that."  Callen smirked. 

"Then how about you guys turn away." Deeks said and snaked his arm around my waist. 

It was dark but I could basically see Callen and Sam roll their eyes in unison. 

"Just use protection, ok? The last thing we need is Kensi hormonal." Callen chuckled. My face started to grow red.

"I don't know, a few mutant ninjas running around Ops could be interesting." Deeks answered, and I punched him in the shoulder. The guys laughed at Deeks' pain, and I managed a genuine smile. 

Maybe things can get back to normal after all.

******************************************

Let me start by saying how sorry I am for the incredibly long wait. IM SO SORRY! Let me just let y'all know that this story is going into hiatus again though. I know, but at least I'm letting you know in advance. I'm just super busy with school and stuff, and I don't have the time. I'm only able to update today because my spring break allowed me the time.

THIS STORY IS OFFICALLY ON HIATUS UNTIL JUNE. 

I seriously doubt I will be able to update until summer vacation, so I tried to end this chapter without a cliffhanger the best I could. I'm sorry about the inconvience, but I have to do it. 

Other News: 

I am planning on ending this story with 65-70 Chapters. 

You may see me update my other story, Awkward. That does not mean I will be updating AIL before the hiatus ends. I am going to concentrate on that story with all my free time, and maybe on another original story I am brainstorming about currently. 

My twitter is lovenchocolate

I would love to see any of y'all Densi fanart or read your personal fanfics. Just message me, comment, or DM me on Twitter and I'll try and get back to you!