Catching Feelings (Justin Bieber bully fanfic)

Invisible scars

Today was the day. School.
Justin and me acted like not knowing each other.
"Ariana? Justin? You gotta wake up, school's waiting!", Jeremy yelled.
My mom was already on her way to work.
"Shut the hell up!", my roommate yelled and walked into my room.
"Get out, I don't feel like seeing you in the morning!", I mumbled into my pillow.
"What ever piggy, have you made my homework?", he sounded pretty pissed.
I looked at him.
"What did you just said?", I asked confused.
"Yeah you failed suicide. Now give me my homework"
"Be careful what you're saying, when I kill myself again, than you'll be the one to blame"
I didn't know what I did but it ended up working.
He looked to the floor, and said with a voice filled with pain: "I'm sorry. Please don't give me the feeling of being the reason why you don't wanna live anymore. I-I"
His voice was cracking. His eyes were filled with tears.
"Justin?", I said calming.
He looked up.
"One, two, three, Justin, come to me", I said shyly.
He laughed a bit and nodded.
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to deal with it", he said, looking down.
"What do you mean?"
"I-I can't imagine to live here. Without you"
"You better should Walt through hell in pairs", I said looking into his eyes.
"I agree with that", he smiled.
He looked directly into my eyes, I looked directly into his. I felt his warm breath on my face and his hands around my waist. This hands, that caused so much pain, were right now that what I wanna feel the most. Wait what? No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
I felt his eyes trailing down to my lips and back up to my eyes. I felt his lips on mine. His lips. My lips. Our kiss.
It felt right and so good but also wrong and so bad at the same time. What am I doing here? I was kissing my bully. The one that made me feel dumb, fat, worthless and ugly. I was kissing him. The one and only. Justin Bieber.
I pulled away and looked at him.
"What was that?", i asked confused.
"A Kiss", he said reaching for my lips.
"Justin! Stop!"
He looked at me and nodded.
"I thought you were different", he said.
"What?"
"I don't feel like fucking a bitch today, sorry!", he got up.
"Justin are you kidding me? You were bulling me. You made me feel worthless, you were the reason why I decided to end my life. You made me walk through hell. And yes, there is a hell. Believe me, I've seen it. And now you are calling me a bitch? Do you know, how much it hurt? Knowing that I should be dead right now? It hurts so much seeing you every single fucking second I walk around in this house. Do you wanna know, why I don't wanna live here? Because I need a peaceful place, where I can be, whenever my life turns into a horrormovie. How are you able to look into the mirror without being afraid of your inner devil? I would be afraid of myself if I were you. You made a girl cry, you made her hurt herself, you caused her pain, no, you are her definition of pain. And now you're calling me a bitch?"
I looked at him.
"Do you know, how it feels knowing that a person don't wanna live anymore because of you?", he asked while sobbing.
"No, Justin, I Never was the bully, I always was the victim"
"It feels horrible, I am scared that one day, when I wake up, that you are dead. I am afraid of loosing you by suicide or why ever"
"Why?"
"Because I love you. You never saw my pain while doing this to you. And this kiss, this was something special, I always felt bad, but I was afraid to be honest with you. I had a crush on you for half a year, already. What do you think, what I did as I saw these cuts all over your body?"
"I know what you did as you saw them, Justin."

~Flashback~
I walked out of the classroom, Lauren, my best and only fried wasn't in school today.
I walked some stairs down, as somebody pushed me. I fell down the stairs and didn't got up. I couldn't move. I just laid there, as something hit my my back, causing an unbelievable pain. I looked up, and saw Justin. He was laughing.
"Move, bitch", he said, but it was impossible.
"Get up", he ordered, but I didn't do.
"Aren't you listening?", he asked, kicking me into my stomach.
"Hit me any harder and I'll die", I said. Even talking was painful.
"What did you said?"
"You're going to kill me", I replied scared.
I was afraid that he might hurt me again.
He suddenly pulled me up, because of a teacher walking by.
"Is everything okay?", the teacher asked.
"Yeah, she simply fell off the stairs and I was just helping her up"
The teacher nodded and walked away.
Unfortunately his arm uncovered my sleeve, his eyes starred onto my cuts and scars.
If you thought he would feel bad for it, sorry he wasn't.
"Guys look!", he yelled and started laughing.
"Misses Piggy is cutting herself! Just kill yourself, bitch, when you don't wanna live anymore. No one needs or cares about you. We won't miss you", he laughed even more.
"One day, when you have children yourself, and your little sweet daughter is getting bullied, than you'll remember me"
"Sure bitch", he laughed.
~end of the flashback~

"Do you wanna know know, what you did, Justin?", I asked, "you laughed, you told me to kill myself. That's what you did"
"That's what I did, yeah, but I felt another way", he said looking down again.

~flashback Justin's pov~
I don't know why, but I had to do it. I had to do it, I had to proof my friends, that I was cool. I always wanted to be the coolest. And right now I was it. I was the popular boy.
I saw Ariana walking downstairs. It was scary how thin she was, she was so skinny, that I always wondered how she could even walk with these legs.
I know I had to do it. I never meant to hurt her. I never meant to make her feel the way I made her feel.
I walked faster, swallowed hard and pushed her. She fell down the stairs. That wasn't the most horrible part, about it. The horrible part was the fact, that she didn't got up. She didn't moved.
I tried my best not to run to her and shake her. God, please let her be alive. She fell actually like 10 steps down. I had to remember my aunt Sibel. She broke her neck while felling down three steps.
I reached her and felt everyone starring at me and her hopefully not dead body.
I know I had to do it, so I did. I kicked into her back.
She looked at me. There was so much pain in her eyes. My heart broke when she looked at me, so afraid of me hurting her.
I wanted to hug her so bad but I can't do it. I am the cool kid.
I told her to get up, but I already know that she couldn't move.
Maybe her back is broken, my inner voice said. She may sit in a wheelchair for a lifetime.
I pulled her up as a teacher walked by. I told him that she simply fell out of the stairs. He didn't believed us but he walked away.
And than I saw it. Huge scars on her arms. I felt like I had to throw up. Some of them were very old and some were new. The new ones were scary. I felt like killing myself. Is she doing that because of me? Why do I have to love this girl?
~end of flashback~

Sooo, I know it took ages but, I don't think that anyone reads this anymore soo... don't judge me❤️
Bye bye
Mrs. Bieber❤️