A/N: This song is called "Ohne Dich" by Rammstein *ohne dich directly translated from German is "without you."
"I just really don't think I can do this anymore, Mark." I said sitting with my teary eyed now ex boyfriend. "(Y/N), give me another chance. I had no idea posting that picture would upset you so much." "It's not the picture, it's the comments. Clearly this relationship is NOT what people want to see. It's not that I care about what they think, it's that I care about having peace, and with these fools constantly harassing me, I have none. I love you, but I can't do this." I sighed, feeling a bit teary eyed myself. "Don't go. Please." "I have to. As soon as everyone hears that we're over, things can go back to normal. I'm not cut out for ANY kind of fame. Whether it's A-list celebrity fame or internet fame. I thought you knew that." "I'm sorry!" "Mark, sorry doesn't cut it. I showed you my inbox. It's full of hate and I'm sick of it. Blocking does nothing. It just keeps happening over and over again. I wish you weren't who you are. We'd probably be married by now, I mean it's been what, almost 4 years?" It had been. Almost to the date. "(Y/N)..." "Just stop begging. You're only making this harder on us both." I stood up and left promptly, not wanting to drag things out any further. I felt horrid, and tried everything I could to maintain my complicated relationship, but it wasn't working. After weighing my options, I decided a completely normal life was the best option for me. No fans, no fanfare, nothing but silence. It's safer for me that way for starters. I arrived to my apartment and was greeted by my roommate. "How'd it go?" she asked. "Just as expected. He cried, I cried, I'm not happy." She hugged me. "I'm sorry, but...in time I think everything will be okay." "Well that's the goal." I said, pushing past her. I just wanted to be by myself for awhile to process things. I turned my phone off to ensure there would be no interruptions. I grabbed my tablet to do the same, but before I could turn it off I saw that Mark was live. Curiosity got the better of me and I tapped the YouTube notification. "And that's why I'm quitting. I can't believe how selfish and nasty some of you are. To those who have been supportive, kind, and fair, thank you. You've made my time here amazing, to the rest of you, fuck you. Who do you think you are? You've chased away two of my girlfriends now. You've threatened two people into silence now. Two people who meant everything to me now have negative feelings toward me and it's all because of you guys. I hate each and every one of you." Wow. Heated. I'd never seen him that way before...it was actually a bit intimidating. "It's a shame that I have to give up my career to keep my sanity. This channel will be gone tomorrow morning first thing, so enjoy it while it's here." No fucking way. No way. All that hard work, all those royalties and such-he wasn't giving them up for me. "I'm leaving LA, and I'm not specifying where I'm heading. Not like that will stop some of you crazy stalkers from finding me anyway. I cannot stress enough how pissed and disgusted I am. I apologize to my fellow YouTubers, I'm letting you down. I apologize to all of the contract holders I've signed with. I'm letting you down. I apologize to my good fans. I'm letting you down. I also sincerely apologize to (y/n). I'm sure there was something I could've done differently to protect her from you evil, self-centered piglets." Leaving LA? I broke up with him but I never said I wanted him to leave. I rapidly turned my phone back on. No missed calls, and no texts. He must've known I'd see the video. I watched the remainder of the video which was basically Mark chastising the idiots who worship him and half begging for my forgiveness. I shook my head in disbelief. I text Mark quickly asking him if he was going to be okay. He replied with a simple yes. Yikes, one word responses, yeah he was pissed. He assured me that I was not a factor in his decision making, and told me that if I was interested, he'd let me know where he'd relocated to. I told him to keep me posted. I laid on my bed unsure of what to do.I could go over to his house and try to stop him or I could let him do what he thought was best. One thing was for sure: he had just smashed his own channel into the ground. There was no recanting the statements he'd just made. I checked the comments, and per the norm there were people begging him to stay on YouTube, there were people screeching about how the bad fans ruined everything, and there were people calling him all kinds of names. What a fucking mess. I groaned. I felt like this was all my fault, but I know it wasn't. I never asked for this. "Mark, Mark, Mark..." I muttered, looking at the picture that had pushed me over the limit. I decided to go and see him first thing in the morning. Rushing over would be wrong, but letting everything ride seemed cold and harsh.
