A/N: The song is Becoming the Bull by Atreyu
I have a thing I do when I like someone. I make them think I do, and pull away. It's not intentional...never...I'm not that way, but it is a habit, and old habits die hard. I'm shy. That's why it happens. I have liked my best friend Mark for so long now, but I'm just now letting it show...and I'm terrified I'm just gonna wreck our relationship.
"(Y/N)?" I turned to see Mark. "Oh, hey when did you get here?" He chuckled. "Like now?" he said. "Alright so I ask stupid questions...excuse me." I gave him a hug. His hug seemed weak...that's not normal. I pulled back. "Are you okay?" I asked. "I'm fine." he replied. "I just have some news for you....well, not just you...everyone." I felt nervous suddenly. Engaged? Got some chick pregnant? Dying? My mind is a mess sometimes. "What is it?" I asked. "I'm moving." Moving? Seems like he just moved into his apartment not that long ago. Oh well, he'll probably be moving into another place nearby...maybe he bought a house. That'd be cool. "Sweet, I can help you. When are you going?" He cringed. "Um...next month, but...it's gonna be a big move. I'm moving to Los Angeles. I'll be closer to some good people and resources, you know? I'll be able to make some connections, meet others like me...it'll make everything easier for me." Los Angeles? That's like...across the country. "(Y/N)?" I didn't have the means to respond. "Are you okay? I'm gonna come back and visit, and I'd love it if you came and visited...hello?" I shook my head. "Wow." I said. "I know, I'm sorry...it took a lot of thought, it really did...I just think it'd be better. I mean it's fucking Los Angeles. There's so many connections to make out there for all kinds of entertainers. I wanna give it a shot. Things are ready to go...I just need to wrap up here and get my things." Suddenly, I really didn't wanna talk to him anymore. I turned on my heels and started walking away, totally forgetting that I'm in my apartment. "Did you have somewhere you needed to go? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hold you up if you did." Mark called after me. I slammed the door behind me. Best friend, my ass. What kind of friend just moves? For work? Pssht, there are plenty of big names online who DON'T live in LA...and they're doing great. Connections? The internet and traveling. That's all he needs. Why can't he travel? Email? Fax? This is insane...my best friend is leaving me...before I can even tell him how I feel. I doubt I'll tell him anyway. Fuck it, why bother? I walked down the steps and got into my car. Mark came out after me. "(Y/N)? Are you okay? Do you wanna talk?" I rolled my window down. "Not to you." I said. The look on his face was one of pure hurt and confusion. "Wait!" he called, but that ship had already sailed. I really just needed to be with a friend....and not him!
