Endless Red Ribbons (MC x Jumin)

I can grieve

(MC pov)

I woke up in the middle of the night after tossing and turning. Jumin didn't haunt my dreams anymore. Now it was Saeyoung crashing his car and the last words I said to him were so hateful. He was just standing at the end of my hospital bed, taunting me with that angry face he wore. 

"It should've been you. It's your fault this happened." He would say. 

I shot up out of my bed and looked around, breathing heavily. My IVs pulled me back and my arm slipped and I fell back on my pillow. The room was pitch black except for the moon coming through the window. Suddenly, Jumin ran into the room and asked if I was alright. I nodded, not wanting to make eye contact. I remembered everything about what happened while I was drugged with meds. It was hard to remember but jumin apologized...

And he would never do that if he didn't mean it. 

He came over to my bed and propped my arm up again along with my back. He untangled my IVs and sat me back to where I was. 

"I could hear you last night.... I remember it all... mostly."

"Really...?" 

"Yeah. Jumin, I would've done anything for you and I did what you asked. A mistake you made instantly became my fault." I looked over at Katsuo who was sleeping on the bed beside me.

"MC, I made so many mistakes then..."

"You've made them now! Don't tell me you love me after everything I've been through! I waited for you. I gave you so much time and you only started caring until Saeyoung died. "

"I understand MC..."

"You don't understand. As soon as I went back to work, news spread. Calling me a whore who slept with Mr. Han's son, got pregnant and was left on the doorstep. I got fired from my job! You don't understand."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start this... I still would like to have something nice with you. If not romantically, then just friends. Katsuo deserves that much and so do you."

"Jumin Han, get this through your thick skull. Thanks for being noble but you left me for dead, basically. I'm done with you. I can grieve! I can do what I please because you don't run my life! Check back when you can undo the past, got it? I just want to be left alone with my son and grieve for my dead child and husband."

He walked out of the room without a word as I turned away from him. On the table next to me, there were pictures of Saeyoung with me, rejoicing over being pregnant with his son...

I whispered to myself.

"I just want to grieve....."