Chapter 5

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The drive back to my apartment is short thanks to the lack of traffic at this time of day. It's odd being home so early. I have about an hour until Leigh-Anne is due home, which gives me enough time to change and check my emails. Throwing my hair into a messy bun, I opt for my leggings, a gray tunic, and my mint-green lace leg warmers—cute and sassy, as Leigh would say. I can't wait to unload all the stuff going on in my messed-up brain—nothing seems to make sense.

I step out into the living room and stop dead in my tracks. This place is a mess! Papers are everywhere, mail's lying around, dirty dishes sit on the table, and clothes are strewn over the back of the couch. Between both our schedules, the house is rarely spotless, but we've never let things get this bad. I decide to skip the emails and pick up a little. We pay way too much money for this place to allow it be this out of control. Leigh-Anne and I looked for an apartment in Manhattan. We had always wanted to be like the girls on television, but once we saw the going rate for apartments and sublets we opted for New Jersey. Our high-rise is on the river, overlooking the city, so our rent is high, but it's worth it. We both make a good salary, so we decided to live comfortably and have an apartment with security.

Me: Hey. Gonna start dinner.

Leigh: K. I'll be leaving the city soon.

I look through the kitchen and realize we're out of pretty much anything edible. I can either head to the store or order in. The sensible choice would be to go to the store, but after the day I've had, I decide to say screw it.

There's a knock at the door. Weird. The doorman usually calls if we have visitors.

"Open up, Pez," a bubbly voice says. Ellie.

With a huge grin, I throw the door open.

"What are you doing on this side of the river?" I ask.

"I had a case here in Jersey, so I figured I'd see if my two crazy-ass friends were around. And lucky me, I get you!" She grins as she walks through the apartment.

"At least it's lucky for one of us," I snort.

"Honestly, I didn't think you'd be here. What gives?" she says, assessing my outfit and facial expressions.

"I had my meeting today for that prospective new client. I finished early. Figured I'd work from home." I shrug, attempting nonchalance.

Ellie glares, giving me her lawyer look. The one that sees through you as she weighs each word you say and interprets your tone. She does that and then she chews you up. I should've remembered who I'm dealing with. Even fielding questions from crazy reporters hasn't properly prepared me for her.

"So why do you look like shit? Why don't you tell me what's really going on, Pez? Considering I don't believe you for a second." Her voice is stern but sympathetic. She knows the nightmare I went through. I knew it would only be a matter of time until she started pushing me to talk.

We head into the kitchen and sit at the table. I look down, trying to find a way to put into words what's jumbled in my head, as my fingers trace the grain of the wood. "I'm a mess, Ell. It's been three months since Zayn cheated on me, and sometimes it feels like it happened yesterday. Sometimes it hurts so much it's hard to breathe, but I have to pretend I'm great.

"Then today I had to present against him at the client meeting I told you about. Not only was Gigi there ..." I trail off, looking up to see her reaction.

"What? Oh wow," she says, stunned, before recovering. "You've had quite a day, babe."

"You could say that. And then I find out he stole my presentation." My head falls to my hands and I release the flood of emotions I've been restraining. "This is the man I was supposed to marry?" I drop my hands, letting out a ragged breath. My voice trembles when I ask, "How can I still love him, Ellie?"

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