Chapter 23

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Entering the upscale Manhattan law firm of Coogan, Goldstein & Leibowitz, the fear of the unknown is choking the life out of me. I have no idea what to expect or what my father could have left for me. All I keep thinking about are the possibilities—I could get answers today, or more questions. Why was I required to come to the office? Why couldn't they have mailed me the paperwork? Is there something here I need to see? I can't answer any of these questions, but they keep coming. What if he left some kind of video? Will I want to watch it? With each new thought comes a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. My fight or flight reflexes are in high gear, and if it weren't for Jade holding my hand, I'd be fleeing back into the elevator and getting the hell out of here.

Jade gives my hand a small squeeze and I look at her apprehensive face. "I know you said we should do this today, but you're pale and shaking."

I'm shaking? I didn't even notice.

"I'm just nervous because of all the possibilities. I don't know what to expect. What if he had another kid and they're here?" I somehow manage to choke the words out.

Stopping, she releases my hand and moves to cradle my head. My heart rate slows at her gentle touch. Her eyes penetrate my fear and her voice is tender. "I'll be here the whole time. All that's going to happen is the lawyer will read the will, you'll find out what you were left, and then we'll go. No matter who else is here, if you don't want to deal with them, you don't. Okay?"

I give her a nod, trying to keep myself together while drawing strength from her.

We enter the office. It's nondescript and simple—and empty. More than anything I'm grateful for this because if there were a long lost sister sitting here, I might have collapsed. Jade's strong hand grips mine. She's pretty focused on making sure I'm not having an emotional breakdown. As long as she's here, I'm okay.

Mr. Goldstein enters and shakes our hands. "Perrie, I'm Avi Goldstein. I'm the lawyer in charge of your father's estate."

"Nice to meet you. This is Jade Thirlwall, my ..."

"Girlfriend," Jade finishes matter-of-factly.

My head whips around to look at her. Girlfriend? Well that was unexpected. After the last date we had, I guess it's true, but it still shocks me. She didn't hesitate or question, she seemed proud to say it. The smile on her face rocks me. I'm sure it mirrors mine, and I'm also sure my heart grew to twice its size.

Mr. Goldstein clears his throat and begins. "Nice to meet you both. I'm very sorry for your loss, Ms. Edwards. I know these proceedings are hard, especially when you lose a loved one suddenly. Whether it's a father, mother, or spouse it's never easy. I hope you can find peace and closure." Jade's hand releases mine abruptly. When I look at her, she seems anxious, uncomfortable. The loss of her warmth and support leaves me bereft. Jade shoves her hand in her pocket and looks away.

"Thank you, Mr. Goldstein," I say with a tremble in my voice. There will be no closure because I've gained no answers. I don't even know how you close something that was never opened.

"Please, call me Avi. I assure you this is the least favorite part of my job. I was on your side not too long ago when my wife passed, so I'll try to make this as easy as possible," Avi says with a smile.

Suddenly Jade gets up and walks over to the window. I can see her chest rising and falling powerfully.

"Jade?"

She looks over with sadness in her eyes before returning to her seat.

"You were saying, Mr. Goldstein," Jade says. Any trace of sadness is gone, replaced by the mask of determination I've come to know so well.

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