USA Comedy Contest

Dinner

===Henry===

Luke came to my hotel room to pick me up.
"Hey, Green. You ready to head down to the restaurant?"
"Just about."
He came in while I went back into the bathroom to put cologne on, and give myself a pep talk.
Okay. You are gojng to dinner with a hot cowboy, but it might not be a date. Try not to throw yourself at him. A few subtle flirts here and there, but that's it. Until you know whether this is a date or not, don't make a move. Okay, you can move, but don't act on your crush on him. Hey, that was funny. I should work that into my routine.

We went down to the hotel restaurant, ordered at the register, and sat down.
"So do you and Edward know each other?" He asked.
"Yeah. Um, we used to be rivals in the comedy world, but he moved to Wyoming for college after we gradutated from high school, so I haven't seen him in a while."
"That's it?"
"Excuse me?"
"You're not telling me everything. Spill it, Green."
(Sigh) "Fine. Um... he's my ex-boyfriend."
He looked stunned. "You're gay?"
"Yeah."
"Thank God!" He sighed.
"What?"
"Last night, I wanted to ask you out on a date, but my mind was going: Hold up! What if he's not gay? What if he's not even bi or pan? So I played it safe and said 'grab dinner' instead of 'go out.'"
"Wow. That's sweet."

Our food came a few minutes later.
"So, why did you and Edward breakup?"
"We had different ideas about comedy, we start drifting apart in 10th grade... but mostly because he's psychotic."
"Psychotic?"
"He had random fits of rage, got extremely jealous and clingy, and sometimes did or said odd and obscure things."
"Like what?"
"I once caught him eating a cookie during sex. A pile of crumbs dropped onto the sauna floor."
"Sauna?"
"Oh yeah."
"Nice."
"Yeah. That was another thing he did: he got aroused in the weirdest places."

We finished our meals.
"You want to order dessert?" I asked him.
"We can order that through room service. I had something something else in mind."
"What?"
He whispered something in my ear. No, I will not tell you what he said.
"Okay! Let's do that!"
We couldn't have run faster to the elevator.