The Final Act

Chapter Twelve: Weeks into Rehearsal

Rory and Angel continued to light up the stage. Their personalities were magnetic. They played off each other as if they had been acting together for years instead of weeks. They had reached the part in the play where Maggie and Kevin fall madly in love and decide to move in together. Angel had never lived with a guy before so she had to pull out all the stops to make this believable. Rory, on the other hand, had once had a live-in girlfriend but it had ended badly so he had to do some mental maneuvering to slip into the role. Once there, their acting was flawless.

Opening night was only two weeks away. Angel woke up one morning with that feeling of dread. The darkness was swirling around again, threatening to surround her. This can't be happening now. She thought she was in a good place. But, sometimes she slipped and her medication had to be tweaked. The timing stunk. She would have to make an appointment with the doctor right away to make sure this didn't get away from her. She had been with him since she was 16 and knew he would make room for her in his schedule whenever she called. She snuck in a call when she was on her break. He could see her this evening after rehearsals. She hoped that a little change in medicine would help her.

Rory sensed something was off with Angel, but it didn't seem to be affecting her acting. She was just a little more reserved off the stage. There was that strange sense he had again that there was something deep inside she was hiding. Whenever he began to probe she just shrugged him off.

They were called back on stage for the final scene in which Maggie and Kevin decide to get married. Now, this would be a stretch but both Angel and Rory had stretched before into unfamiliar territory. It brought out the best in them.

Angel left the set immediately after the last scene. Rory tried to catch up with her, but she ducked out the side entrance and disappeared into the blackness outside. She thought how appropriate the moonless sky was; it matched the darkness in her soul right now. She hurried to her car anxious to get to her doctor. Why is this happening to me now? The play is going so well and I'm beginning to connect with Rory on some level. I've got to snap out of this. But Angel knew it wasn't that simple. The black hole was opening and she was deathly afraid of falling into it again.

Dr. Frederick was waiting for her when she arrived, having stayed after his last patient left so he could see her.

"What seems to be the problem, Angel? I thought things were going pretty well this time around."

"Maybe it's the role, Doc. It's a romantic comedy, but the main characters fall deeply in love and move in together. I can usually divorce myself from the dialogue and go into my special place, but it doesn't seem to be working. I think I'm starting to fall for my leading man and it scares me. Do you think that's all it is?"

"I don't know, Angel. What do you think? How well do you know this man? Is he aware of your ongoing battle with depression? If not, maybe you should tell him."

"I'm deathly afraid I will scare him away just like the others."

"Then he's not right for you. This is a large part of who you are and anyone who loves you will be there for you."

"It's just too early in the relationship and I don't know if I should let myself feel anything for him."

"That has to be your decision, Angel. In the meantime, we can change your medication to see if we can pull you out of this."

Dr. Frederick scratched his beard and continued to write in Angel's chart. After what seemed like an eternity he told her he was trying something new for her. She had to have patience—it would take a few weeks to have any effect, but he hoped it was the answer. He had an arsenal of medications to treat anxiety and depression but it was a trial and error game to play with his patient's mental health at stake. Angel needed a winner.

Angel left the office, prescription in hand, feeling better. If she continued to see Rory, she knew she would have to tell him. But would he stick by her? She walked into her apartment and noticed there was a message for her. She played it back; it was Rory. "Hi, Angel. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left in such a hurry. Please call me back when you get this message so I'll know everything is good." Angel never called him back.