Chapter Thirteen: The Journal

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Dear Journal,

Today I'm graduating from high school. It's been a pretty cool year although I'm really sad that all my friends will be going in different directions to college next year. I think I'd like to be a teacher. But, I really like theatre too. I seem to come out of myself when I'm up on the stage. I guess standing in front of a bunch of kids is a little like acting anyway.

The other day, I felt myself slipping again so I went back to Dr. Frederick. He has been a miracle worker for me. I see a therapist, too, although there doesn't seem to be anything particularly wrong in my life. But she gets me to talk more about my inner feelings and what makes me so scared all the time. He's more the pill guy. Jessie talks more to me about what's going on in my brain and how I feel about life in general. Some days I think I scare her because it gets so bad I just don't know what to do. But, I'm usually able to get on an even keel after my meds are adjusted. It's just that they usually take a few weeks to take effect and sometimes those weeks are the pits. I just want to curl up in bed and never come out of my room. I hope I can make it through college without a breakdown—I've heard it can be pretty intense. Well, I'll just stay in touch with both docs and hope for the best.

I have to go now. It's time to don the cap and gown.

Angel

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