NB: The Search (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 14: The Morning After

I get to class early.  I’m still excited from last night.  I want to see Day.  I want to talk to him.  I want to kiss him.

He isn’t here.  I wait impatiently.  He’ll probably be surprised that I’m actually in class early.  I look at the clock.  Time is passing so slowly.  Day isn’t here.  The bell rings.  Day still isn’t here.  The class starts and ends and Day never comes.  The whole time I’m thinking about him, feeling a sinking in my stomach as the dread sets in.

Did I do something wrong?

During lunch, I try to call him.  Nobody answers.  I feel like such an idiot.

The only thing I can think to do is find Maggie.  Things are a mess between us, but I need her, so I head to her locker.

When she sees me, she pauses for a second.  “Hey Air,” she says hesitantly.  She’s still keeping her distance from me, like she’s scared I might hurt her.

“Hi,” I say. 

My life is falling apart. 

“Are you alright?” Maggie asks.  She can tell that I’m not.  I want to fall to the ground and cry.  Last night, I just wanted to feel.  Now I can’t stop it.  I feel like I am breaking inside.  I feel too real.  I want it to stop.  I wish I could touch the light, but at the moment, I can’t even fathom how.  I’m hurting too much.

“No,” I say.

She hugs me and we go to the side of the school.  There’s a doorway that no one really uses.  We sit outside and I tell her what happened.

“That asshole,” Maggie says when I’m done. 

“I don’t know what to do,” I say.

“I think you should wait a little bit.  It’s just been a couple of hours.  Maybe he’s sick.  Or maybe he just needs to figure things out for a minute.  I mean, it’s pretty big for him too.”

“He’s done it before.”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t big for him, Air,” she says.  “Just wait before you assume that he’s just rejected you.  Other things happen.”

“I know,” I say.  I just feel like I’m going to explode inside.  Maybe implode is a better word for what I’m feeling.

“It’ll be okay.”

“Are we okay?” I ask.  “I can lose the boy.  When I saw you, I was afraid I lost you too.”

“You’ll never lose me Aaron,” she says.

“But with the light.  I thought I scared you away.”

“You didn’t scare me away, but I am scared.  I’m a little worried about you.  I’m worried you are getting involved in something you don’t really understand.  I don’t want to lose you either.  I think you need to slow down and figure out what you’re doing.”

“I’ll try to learn more,” I say.  I plan on asking the angel about the light.  Maggie’s right.  I’ve been too consumed with touching the light and not enough with trying to understand what it is.  “What have you been up to lately?” I ask.  “I’ve missed all of your gossip.”

“I don’t gossip,” Maggie says.  “I merely discuss events going on in the world around me.”

“Any notable events?” I ask.

Maggie hesitates.  “I went on a date?”

“You went on a date?” I ask.  Maybe I should have held back some of the disbelief in my voice, but I’m surprised.  A part of me is sad I didn’t know about it beforehand, but I knew things were rough for a couple days there.  I want to move forward.

“Yeah,” Maggie says, “I went on a date.  It isn’t that big a deal.  People go on dates all the time.”

“And asteroids hit planets all the time.  If one was heading towards the Earth, I would want to know all about it.  So how was it?  Who was it with?”

“Josh,” Maggie says.  She’s blushing.  I think she might like him.  “It was okay.  We had some coffee.”

“And?”

“And nothing.  It was alright.  You know Josh.  He’s Josh.  That’s really all there is to him.”

“He’s hot,” I say.  “And he’s had a crush on you since like forever.”

“And he’s a total jock who spent half the time talking about practice and the other guys on the team.”

“So do you think you’ll see him again?” I ask.

“Maybe,” she says. “Why do things with guys have to be so complicated?  With all those stupid butterflies and strange gut feelings.”

“I don’t know,” I say.  I rest my head on Maggie’s shoulder.  “Because boys suck.”

“I’m sure he’ll call,” Maggie says.

I hope she’s right.