Secrets (Jason McCann/Dolan Twins au)

7

Jason had been avoiding me ever since we had almost kissed that night. Winter break was creeping up and I knew I needed to fix what I destroyed. And that was his trust.

"I'm going to die of stress." I groaned into my arms.

"You never told us what happened that night. And that body we had to clean up was not a pretty sight. From what we have to work with between you too, it couldn't have been pretty either." Grayson spoke. 

Ethan, Grayson, and I were hanging out together at a park since I had no life and I was devastated after what happened. These boys were the only reason I hadn't gone crazy.

"Yeah, you need to tell us, or stop stressing because you don't look good." Ethan for once in his life was concerned. Anyone would be if they saw me in my state.

"Fine," I sighed before beginning,"I'm assuming you know someone's after him because you're in his gang, but he wouldn't tell me who. He told me he cared about me and I did too, and we almost kissed-"

Grayson interrupted with a scream.

"So soon? I called it!"

"She said 'almost', you idiot." Ethan said smacking the back of his head.

"But I told him I'd win if he did that." They were both quite after that.

"Dang, you really did mess up..." Ethan sighed out.

"I know." I said and looked down at the ground, a tear slipping from my eye.

"I just didn't want him to leave, but I ended up pushing him away anyway." I cried.

It was my first time crying about this from outside of my room.  Grayson took me in his arms, but  all I could think about was how Jason's arms used to feel. 

He was all I could think about. I wanted him back.

"Marlee..." Grayson whispered.

"Say it." Ethan said.

"Tell us the truth." Grayson finished.

"No." I told them. They already knew, but it was a whole different thing to admit it.

"You need to do it." Ethan spoke sincerely.

So I did.

"I love him." I whispered.

"I love him so much. And I lost him." I sobbed after admitting my love for Jason knowing it was one sided.

"Tell him that." Ethan said.

"He doesn't feel the same." I choked out.

"How do you know?" Grayson questioned.

"Because of the stupid bet. It's all a bet. My emotions are just a game to him." I yelled out.

"That's what you believe." Ethan laughed.

"No, it's the truth." I spoke bitterly.

"Stop lying, Marlee." Grayson spoke,"You're pulling us in two, both of you can't get it through your head that you both care for each other."

"You don't understand-"

"We do. You've told a lie to yourself so many times it became a truth to you." Ethan got up after that and left.

"I should go after him."

And I was alone again.

---

Another week had passed. There were only three days of school left before break. I was still broken. My parents had noticed and were concerned. But I wouldn't let them know. So I faked a smile like I had done for awhile. I don't really care if they believed it or not.