Our Secret - 우리 비밀

13. He loves her

I'm really sorry I'm not updating regularly anymore. There are a lot of things on my mind. I made some mistakes twice and it's affecting my writing skills and mood.
I sincerely apologise and hope you can enjoy this chapter.

"We need to talk."

I said it, but the two of us sat in silence. Lisa stared at the ground and wasn't able to look at me. I took a deep breath and started.
"What happened between you and Sehun while I was out.. tell me everything."
Lisa looked up and bit her lip.
"Were the two of you doing something.. I shouldn't know about?"
"No! No.. he just started today.. I couldn't tell you.. because your friendship was at stake. I just wanted to forget about it and-"
"Why could you push me away but not him?!"
Anger got the best of me as I lashed out at her.
Lisa started to tear up but I couldn't contain my anger.
"Why..why Sehun? Why didn't you stop him like you stopped me?!"
"It was so sudden! I couldn't kiss you with the feeling of his lips on mine. I thought it wasn't right!"
"Why didn't you tell me before when I asked you?! Why did it had to become like this? Am I not enough anymore?"
"No Chanyeol! That's not it! I was afraid of hurting his feelings!"
"But you're not afraid of hurting mine! Why do you take me for granted when I could've thrown you away a million times already?!"
Lisa looked at me and I immediately regret what I said. The hurt on her face, I won't ever forget that.
"...I see.. I shouldn't have.. I'm-I'm sorry Chanyeol... I was a bother all along, I-"
"No!.. No! I'm.. fuck I am so sorry, that's not what this is about! Why.. why did you let him kiss you?"
"I didn't let him. It was so sudden, I couldn't react, I'm sorry Chanyeol! I can't say more than that. I told him I'm already with you, he kept telling me to wait and instead of rejecting him properly I said I'll think about it. I couldn't hurt him. I don't take you for granted Chanyeol! I'm so sorry!! I'm-I'm-"

I shut her up, I pulled Lisa towards me and kissed her.
"Your lips are mine Lisa."
She looked at me wth tears in her eyes. Her expression, she looked still so hurt it might rip me into pieces as well.
"Your legs are mine.." I caressed her legs, more aggressive than I intended,
"Your little hands... can only held mine.., like your neck.. only I can touch it.. kiss it and.." I held her throat.. her eyes widened..
"Only I can love you..only I can make you live here.." my grip became stronger.
"Only I can end your life.. not Sehun nor Joohyuk."
Her hands wrapped around mine which held her delicate throats so tightly. I was completely lost.. in rage, anger. Sadness and disappointment.
"Only I can love and kill you."
Lisa's eyes started tearing up harder, as she croaked: "You're...hurting..me."
I let go, my eyes widened in shock at what I've done.
I immediately moved away from her.
"L-Lisa.. I'm sorry.. I lost control.! I don't want to hurt you-I-"
Lisa still rang for air.
"Why.. do. you want to kill me too?" She smiled sad at me.
"N-no.. I I am sorry! What have I done?! Lisa!"
I wasn't better than Joohyuk. I looked down at my hands which were moments ago wrapped tightly around Lisa's neck.
"Lisa.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.." I moved closer again but she gasped and moved away.."
"D-don't touch me."
"I'm sorry I overreacted... this wasn't your fault.. I should've talked to him as well.. I was mad.. I'm sorry.."
Lisa stood up.. her hand held her neck and she ran towards the balcony door.
"Lisa don't.. please don't leave!"
"I need to leave now.. I am afraid of you.." she sobbed and I noticed how she was crying and sobbing so badly again, I made the woman I love cry. The worst case I could've done as her boyfriend.
"Don't go.. please!"
Lisa hesitated and I heard her holding back the sob that threatened to suffocate her.

I ran towards her and I did the one thing that may stopped her from going.
I held her wrists tightly in my hands.
My head rested against her forehead while I muttered silent apologies. I felt my eyes watering as well, "I am so sorry Lisa... so sorry.."
"Then why do you hurt me! Why?! I try to be good just for you! I didn't want Sehun to kiss me! I didn't want to kiss you with the lips another man touched! I didn't want to-"
I sealed her lips with mine, she was struggling against the kiss, trying to escape my tight grip. The more time passed, the more she gave in.
Lisa's clenched fist rested against my chest as I pushed her harder onto the glass door.
We stopped shortly to catch our breaths when I looked into her eyes, to see them just as dazed as mine might look now.