Warped Tour (A Shannon Leto Story)

What Happened?

Almost a month in, I felt drained, completely and utterly drained. I don't know how the rest of them did this all the time. The constant partying, the constant drinking, the constant drugs, the late nights and then long sets with even longer drives between shows, I was crashing and we weren't even halfway through the tour.

"Guys, I love you, but if you don't get out of my room within the next 10 seconds, I might start breaking bones." I looked between Vic and Kellin, who were ardently trying to get me out of the hotel and onto one of their buses. I was not in the mood to go out tonight.

"Syd! Come on, you haven't been out with us in over a week." Vic's voice was close to a whine.

"Yeah the last time you went out with us was in Georgia!" Kellin jumped in.

"I went out with y'all in Florida, on multiple occasions." I said. Arguing with the two lead singers was becoming way more exhausting than I wanted to deal with at this particular moment.

"That wasn't a night in NYC, this is the city that never sleeps, besides that was beach time." Vic shot back.

"So? Your point would be? I still drank way more than I needed to and we partied our little hearts out. I don't need to go out tonight, maybe later. It's not like we're leaving anytime soon we'll be here for a week," I said flatly.

Ever since shit had hit the fan with Andy, they had been adamant to get me back out there and meet someone new. I was emotionally drained and definitely not in the right head space to jump into something new, but damned if these guys weren't trying their hardest. I loved them to pieces, but all I wanted to do since that fateful night in Orlando was hide in a hole and sleep. The girls were currently out with their, for lack of a better term, other halves. Which meant I had the whole hotel room to myself for a while.

Charlie and Trevor had become official during our show in NC, two nights previous in our home state. We had all been pretty excited when we hit Charlotte, our parents had already made their way there the night before and were meeting us for lunch as soon as we got there. Poor Trevor had been a wreck all week when he found out Charlie's parents were going to be at that particular show, but refused to tell us what was going on to keep him on edge so badly. It didn't take us long to figure out after he and the rest of Our Last Night made their way onto stage. Charlie had left her parents under our tent with everyone else as the two of us made our way to our normal spot off to the side of the main stage.

After singing a couple of songs, Trevor turned to the side and motioned for Charlie to join him. I couldn't help the laughter that burst out of me when I looked to see her face drained of all color and shaking her head violently. It took me pushing her to get her to finally move and take Trevor's out stretched hand.

"Everyone this is Charlie, if you've been keeping up with the tour you probably know who she is, if not shame on you, but what most of you don't know is how I feel about her." Trevor laughed softly at the ooo's and ahh's that passed over the crowd. "But I've never really been good at just saying how I feel so instead I'm going to sing you a song," he said glancing at my best friend, who's face was brighter than my hair. I watched as he leaned down to kiss her quickly before the first chords of White Tiger started up and he let go of her hand so she could move back to the side with me. Trevor may have been on stage in front of a massive crowd, but this song, those emotions they were all for Charlie.

Then there was Kacee and Alex, our super secret couple. Not secret in the sense that they were hiding it from us, but in the sense that they liked their privacy. They avoided all possibilities of being seen by any photographers together, unless they were with a group of some sort. They wanted as close to a normal relationship as they could get, considering our current situation. After seeing how fast relationships could crash and burn in a normal setting, they were taking all the precautions needed to keep theirs happy and healthy, but just because they were taking precautions didn't mean that it was actually working.

On the other end of the spectrum was Karah and Brendon, where Ace and Woody liked to keep to themselves, these two were not shy in showing the world they were together. They figured if it's going to work then it's going to work no matter if they are in the public spotlight or not, might as well have fun while you can. I think they'll do just fine, they kind of just clicked that first night. They are both the odd balls and just fit for some reason. We all like to joke that their crazies are the same so if anyone is going to understand the other it was the two of them.

The only couple that wasn't an actual couple was Brooklyn and Pete, not in the official sense anyways. We all knew they were only seeing one another, but I think they had this unspoken agreement that they wanted to take things slow, let them progress in a relaxed manner. They spent time together, did the atypical couple things, but were in no rush to put a label on a good thing and honestly who the hell was I to judge?

"Sydney, you can't keep yourself locked up for the rest of the tour." Kellin's voice broke through, pulling me away from my inner thoughts.

"I'm not locking myself up." I snapped, "I'm just not in the mood to go out tonight, that's all."

That was a lie, I knew it was, they knew it was, but they eventually let it go and soon I was back to being by myself. After they left, I flopped down on my side of the bed I was sharing with whichever bandmate decided to crash with me for the night and let my mind wander back over the past few weeks. I should have never let things go as far as they did with Andy. I should have never let either of us act on the tension that was suffocating us both. Now I was here, shutting myself off from people, people that were my friends and family in a place and time full of possibilities, all because I couldn't step away from the desire.