Warped Tour (A Shannon Leto Story)

Preparations

A month, a whole fucking month and I felt like I was still falling apart. I had picked up my pieces and battled through the last week of the tour, the girls by my side every step of the way. After wrapping up mid-August, we came back home, enrolled in a class each at UNCW and set about putting our lives into some kind of normalcy. I had locked myself away most nights, furiously writing out every possible feeling into a song. The girls, god bless their hearts had stuck by my ever growing mood swings.

Today though, today I was a mess, a mix somewhere between anger, nervousness and excitement. The anger had been boiling since that night Ace and the girls had picked me up. Jared driving to the exact location he knew Shannon frequented. It wasn't Shannon's fault, it was my own, but I couldn't keep my feelings from lashing out at how angry I was. Now knowing I'd have to see Shannon, since the boys were going to be presenting at the APMAs, made me dread the night. Nervousness and excitement were kind of a given, our first APMAs, our first award show period, things we had been nominated for! We were currently holed up in a hotel in Cleveland, OH, not far down the road from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, where the show was being held. A knock on the door to my room had me spinning away from the window I was gazing out of to walk across my room and answer it.

    "About time," Charlie said as she pushed past me with her things. "I fucking hate not being home, too much shit to bring."

    "At least you have everything. I'll be honest I can't remember if I grabbed my shoes or not." Brooklyn grumbled, towing her dress bag and duffel.

    "You didn't," I said, holding the door open for Ace, "they're in my bag, along with Ace's bracelet."

    "What would we do without you?" Ace asked as she settled her things on the end of the bed.

    "Crash and burn? Or in Brook's case go barefoot to an award show." I laughed out as I moved back into the room.

    "So we have roughly an hour before we're supposed to meet the guys for lunch and then we have about 3 to get glammed up." Charlie yelled from the bathroom.

    "I might pass on lunch," I said softly. The girls stopped in their various activities around the room to look at me.

    "You've got to eat Syd," Ace said from beside me, concern etching her face and voice.

    "I know. I can order some room service, or go grab something at the cafe I saw on the way up here. I just can't-I can't bring myself to face him, not yet." I sighed out, curling around my pillow.

The girls exchanged looks before all nodding in understanding.

    "Bodhi should be here in a bit, we could all go grab something together." Charlie said looking down at her phone, her fingers flying over the smooth screen of her iPhone.

    "Guys, I can be alone. I promise I'm not going to break." I argued, sitting up to look at them.

    "We haven't had a group dinner since he left for home, it would be nice to have dinner, catch up." Brooklyn announced as she unzipped her dress bag and started getting her stuff together for that night.

    "Besides, I've already text Trevor, he said he'd let the boys know when they met up. We love them Syd, but you're family and we would never put you through something you weren't ready for. But tonight you have to put your big girl pants on." Charlie laughed as I pulled a face.

    "I love you guys." I could feel tears pricking the back of my eyes at how much their kindness, love and support meant to me. I wouldn't be where I was without them and they still just kept giving.

    "We love you too, but enough with the sappy, I need food." Leave it to Brooklyn to announce her stomach.

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