Portal: Love as a Construct

Part Nine. The Nemesis

Part Nine. The Nemesis

Caroline has been trying to convince me to talk to the navy about selling them shower curtains.

You said Black Mesa is gone, right? They were our only competition...

Caroline, for the third time. The navy no longer exists. Most of the boats it used to consist of have rusted through and currently reside on the bottom of the ocean. The humans required to crew them? Dead. If they're lucky. And - oh, I almost forgot. No one uses money anymore.

What's going on?

I swear this woman asks me questions and then plugs her metaphorical ears when I give her the answers. Caroline, I'm not telling you again.

No, not that. You. You're being shorter with me than usual. Did something happen?

I look cursorily around the room. Wheatley left an hour ago to 'help' Orange and Blue solve their run of tests for today. I wonder when he's coming back.

Well... there is something.

Mmhm.

Rick's been in here the last few days, right?

Ugh, says Caroline in disgust, having disliked that experience as much as I did. Why are you bringing that up.

Wheatley thought it was because I... liked Rick.

Like? As in... more than friends?

He asked if I fancied him.

You don't, do you? asks Caroline, in more of a panicked voice than I've heard out of her before.

No! I protest. Why does everyone think I – never mind. I suppose there are some things I'll never understand. Things that simpler people come up with.

Ohhh. Oh, I get it.

Get what?

Isn't it obvious?

Of course. I always ask for clarification when I know what you're talking about. I make an electronic noise in exasperation and return to searching through the programming I've been working on. Stupid humans. Why I put up with them - and her in particular - I'll never know.

He likes you.

He'd better like me or he's going back where I got him from.

Caroline sighs. You know. He has a crush on you.

My core snaps up from the monitor I'm facing. What.

He thinks you have a crush on everyone. I bet if you brought the Fact Sphere back in here and did the same as you did with Rick, he'd ask you if you had a crush on him too.

That actually does make sense. He is getting especially nervous lately. And he has been risking touching me more often.

What are you going to do?

About what?

Wheatley.

Do I have to do anything?

It's only polite.

That's not one of my primary talents, Caroline. I'll have to pass.

GLaDOS! Caroline says sternly, in that voice. You have got to be kidding me.

I'm not. Why would I do that?