Portal: Love as a Construct

Part Eighty-Six. The Aperture Science Botanical Housing Depository

Part Eighty-Six. The Aperture Science Botanical Housing Depository

"Oi, Gladys, have you uh, have you spotted Claptrap, anywhere?"

She had mentioned she was quite busy with some maintenance in some other part of the facility far from here, and she probably didn't want to be bothered, but his question was very urgent. After a few moments, which she probably used to reorient herself, she said,

"He's around. He's been getting friendly with the Cores. Well. As much as he can, anyway. Not all of them are amenable to that." She looked over at his position, which was nearabouts the doorway. "Why? Did you want me to collect him for you?"

"No!" Wheatley said hurriedly, before she could do so without waiting for his answer. "Just uh... just wanted to be sure, to make sure he hadn't run off again."

GLaDOS shook her core. "I'm not watching him terribly closely, but he seems content, at least." Her optic narrowed suddenly. "You sounded... concerned that I would retrieve him."

Wheatley winced a little. Ohhhh, this was going to sound bad. "I... b'tween you and me, luv, I uh... well, I... I like him, I really do, but he's just, he's... a handful, sometimes, y'know, like... almost too much, on occasion, to, to hang out with him all the time, it's just... it gets tiring. If he has other friends he'll, y'know, he'll want to hang out with them too, sometimes. And not uh, and not just me."

He was quite baffled when GLaDOS started laughing.

"Um... d'you mind sharing, uh, sharing the joke, there, because... because I don't think I got it."

"Of course you didn't," GLaDOS said, still seeming incredibly amused.

"So... what was it?" Suddenly he did understand and he didn't find it funny at all; in fact, it was quite maddening. "Ohhhh. Oh, alright, alright, we're poking fun at me again. Wheatley fin'lly, fin'lly found out what it's like to be stuck in a room with Wheatley all day long. Mm. Yes. Hilarious. Funniest thing I've uh, I've heard all day. Height of comedy, you are."

None of this dissuaded her in the slightest, because she only started laughing over again. Why were his two best friends so bloody exasperating?

"Wheaters!" Claptrap announced from behind him, apparently en route to rescue Wheatley from the ridicule of his very lovely but very frustrating girlfriend, "I have a need to see things that only you can show me!"

"Excellent," Wheatley said, turning 'round to look down at him. "Gladys is very, very busy and I uh, and I needed something to do." He'd already changed his mind. He'd much rather spend more time with Claptrap than be teased by GLaDOS some more.

"Aw, babe." Claptrap wheeled right past him and reached up to put a hand alongside GLaDOS's core. "You work too much."

GLaDOS politely removed Claptrap's hand from her core with a maintenance arm, afterwards returning it to... wherever she was keeping it. "When someone else volunteers to do it for me, you will be the first to know."

"I'm gonna hold you to that. The first, right? We both heard you? Do we need that in writing? We need that in writing, huh. Only problem there is, I can't write! It's these hands." He opened and closed them a few times. "Noooot good for very much. Other than this." And he abruptly hitched himself up enough that he could just barely hug her, but instead of encouraging it this time she only quite emphatically placed one end of her maintenance arm against the top of Claptrap's optic and pushed until he had to let go or risk falling over. Even so he had to take a few seconds to centre himself properly, after which he looked up at GLaDOS, who said: