Chapter 21

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WARNING: The following chapter contains sensitive topics along the lines of suicide and alcohol abuse. If that isn't something that sits with you then wait until the ** end.

It came down to the last few rides and the sun was slowly setting. We had a pretty great day all together, even though I had wanted to just be with Frost in the beginning.

Right now we were walking our way back to the parking lot.

"Can we talk? Like really talk?" Mori asked in my ear. I nodded knowing that this had gone on long enough. He let out a sigh of relief.

So as we got to our vehicles, I walked over to Mori. At first we just stood there, it kind of reminded me of the 'talk' we had before. A sudden burst of confidence shot through me as my next words came spilling out my mouth.

"Are you still with her?" I questioned meeting his gaze. To my disappointment he nodded in shame.

"So...what did you want to talk about if it isn't about that?" I asked extremely confused.

He looked away, the tension was getting thicker by the minute.

"We're getting married," he deeply sighed "At the end of the school year." he finished.

My heart broke, shattered, it was destroyed and stomped on. I felt my face start to burn as my throat closed. I feel like I should be used to this by now but I guess not.

Funny how that works.

My tears started to leak.

"D-Did you just need to tell me that? Hm? I think you wanted to see me like this" I spat.

"You wanted to see me broken hearted and all the pain you caused. Maybe you even wanted me graveling at your feet and begging you to take me back, knowing that there wasn't a sliver of a possibility with that happening again." my teeth were clenched as I spoke.

He shook his head like his life depended on it.

"That is something I wouldn't ever want for you," he stated calmly "I was hoping for us to be on friendly terms before I have to get married" he finished.

I wiped away my tears, and in a spout of rage just told him what I wanted to hurt him.

"No, I wouldn't want any terms with you. You have the nerve to talk to me about being on friendly terms when you broke my heart and trust. I don't even want to be in the same continent as you. What you have had to say truly disgusts me. Goodbye" I said and stomped away to the car. He didn't try to stop me and my eyes became glassy once again.

I had still been seething over what he had to tell me.

He expected us to be on friendly terms? After he cheated on me? Then told me he was getting married?? He was surely despicable for believing so.

I think being in that host club really got to his head. I wasn't one of his fangirls that would fall to his feet and meet his every whim. I wouldn't accept his apology so easily. And I certainly wouldn't let him think this was a fantasy. This was the real world, where a rose wouldn't fix your problems with people.

I slammed the door to the car and finally let the tears go, full force. Forgetting Frost was in the car, I flinched as I felt his hand running up and down my back. I took deep breaths to calm my crying and hiccups. Then I wiped away my tears once again.

"S-So you heard?" I questioned Frost, my voice came out hoarse and raspy. He nodded and had a small smile.

"You sorta left the window down a bit" he chuckled trying to lighten the mood. We went silent and listened to the soft music of the radio.

"Are you gonna be ok?" he whispered to me. I nod but of course I'm not telling the truth. I turn the ignition in the car. As I look out the windshield I come to realize that its dark out now and that our car is the only one left.

"I'm gonna drop you off" I say.

Frost doesn't bother arguing with me, but when I start to move he gives me a worried look. With the furrowed brow and slight frown.

We pull up to his house and the light in his kitchen is on along with the TV in the living room.

"Tell your parents I said hi" I told him. He nodded but before he left told you:

"Don't do anything stupid, I know you. So I am telling you right now, you're my best friend and I would do anything for you. Don't do anything that would have me, your family, or friends lose you." he said cautiously.

**

"If you're thinking I'm going to...kill myself then I wouldn't...ever, if you think I would then you apparently don't know me" I replied shakily.

**

Frost gave me a sad look, knowing the things I was saying was simply of heartbreak and denial. I knew it too but I wouldn't admit it. I didn't want it to be real.

He shut the door and gave me a small smile and wave. I waved back but could hardly force a smile. Even after he went inside I sat in my car and thought about what happened.

The regret of what I said starts to sink in. My heart hurts and I can't even imagine the damage I had done to Mori. I want to forget everything.

So then I knew one way, one way that could let me forget. At first I couldn't believe what I was thinking but I was sure as I pulled in my driveway and into the garage. I yanked the tarp back over the car after pulling the key out the ignition and hopping out. I noticed my parents cars weren't in the driveway.

Perfect I thought.

I walked in the door determined. I hurried up the stairs and showered. After, I had gotten into a comfortable set of sleepwear and hurried back down the stairs.

**

You see, when you have a parent that used to be an alcoholic and you know where the other parent hid the problem, it has its perks.

I immediately went for the stronger of the variety. I pulled the scotch, vodka, and my dads special Jack Daniels.

First personal choice was the vodka, I grabbed a crystal blue shot glass from the shelf and filled it to the brim. In one swing the glass was empty, the burning liquid quick to go down. Then it was the scotch, then the Jack.

It was almost as if I had a pattern.

Vodka, Scotch, Jack Daniels, repeat.

**

I had only continued that about 3 times. But you can't really ask me, because the third time was the last thing I remember.

Chapter up

Please don't hate me!

But just for my own curiosity, am I making this too overdramatic?

So before you answer, imagine what it would be like to find the person you thought you were in love with cheating on you. Then saying they are getting married to said person and want you to be friends about it.

Sorry I feel like its just me.

Anyways next update will be in a week!

Bye!

~Lavinia





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