Dear Phil,
Words can't describe how bad life is. Words can't describe how much I miss you. Words can't describe how much I love you. Also, words can't describe how sorry I am.
There's so many things I wish I could've done better. I wish I could've been a better boyfriend, a better friend. I wish I stopped you that night that you were leaving. I could've held you in my arms, told you that it wasn't true, calmly. But I got pissed. That's what happens when my feelings are hurt. And you hurt my feelings, Phil. Things hadn't been going right for a while before then. We rarely went out together anymore. Just stayed in our own rooms, minding our own business. What happened? It felt like you were avoiding me. Was there something wrong? Was there something I could've done to make it better? All these questions, left unanswered.
We barely had conversations, apart from the gaming videos for YouTube. You acted normal in those, as if nothing had changed between us. To me, something big had changed. It was like I'd lost you before I truly lost you. I asked you multiple times if you were okay but you just brushed it off. "I'm fine" or "stop worrying about me" you'd say. Now I wish I'd worried more. Maybe then I could've stopped you from leaving.
From 'I could've done better'...
Dan
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Unbearable: Phan
FanfictionDear Phil, It's been two weeks since you left our apartment. Where did you go? Where are you? I haven't heard from you since you left. I miss you. From Dan
