abNormal (Bands fic)

Chappy 6

As Brendon drove, I fiddled with my hands nervously, Ocean easily filling my mind.

What if it's just a joke? He doesn't actually like you?

What if he plans on embarrassing you on camera and posting it on Instagram?

I get it, I get it. Please shut up.

But it could happen. There's always a chance. There's even a chance you could get in a car accident right now.

My breathing began to quicken as I desperately tried to make Ocean leave me alone.

Brendon glanced at me quickly before keeping his eyes on the road, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

I nodded,"I'm just peachy."

He shook his head and repeated his question, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I know something's wrong." He pushed.

"Anxiety and paranoia." I said plainly.

"Understandable. Right now my mind is conjuring up the worst possible scenarios that are likely to happen." He chuckles.

I laughed lightly, "Exactly."

After a moment of silence I decided I wanted to tell him about Ocean since I haven't yet.

"Brendon can I tell you something?"

"Anything." He nodded, looking at the road.

"Could you pull over? Can you promise not to think I'm crazy? And can you not judge me?" I asked, scratching one of my old scars out of habit.

He pulls over and gently moves my fingers from my scar, "I promise I will not think you're crazy."

"Josh didn't judge for this when I told him because Tyler is like me. I'm not sure how you'll react but-" I took a deep breath and looked away, "I wanted to tell you about someone I know. Not a boyfriend or anything like that. Definitely."

"Go on." He nodded reassuringly.

I breathed in deeply again, "Their name is Ocean. I named them but they don't want to have any labels such as name or gender. Ocean is-.... Ocean-.... Ocean is a voice that's inside my head. She seems calm when I don't have depression or anxiety with me, but when it starts because of her or a situation, she gets hostile. Sometimes she'll talk constantly for weeks until I get over a depression thing. I have psychotic depression. I must sound crazy. Most definitely. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

He stopped me by pulling me into a hug, "Thank you for telling me."

"Y-y-you don't think I'm crazy?" I stuttered out.

He pulled away, "Absolutely not. I'm an informed citizen, not an ignorant bitch."

I laughed lightly, "Thanks for understanding."

"No problem Cupcake." He said as he pulled back onto the road.

I almost flinched at that nickname, but I didn't care. If he wanted to call me that, so be it. Josh wasn't a part of my life anymore.

We arrived at a huge restaurant with a dining area that was outdoors, facing a large lake that was surrounded by trees and tall grass. It was beautiful.

"Wow. This is amazing. I don't deserve this. This is so nice!" I exclaimed.

"You may not know it but you deserve the world." He smiled and took my hand, leading me into the restaurant.