Everyone has secrets....mine were just bigger than most girls from the hood, but that was just it. I wasn't from the hood but Rashad was. I'm sure he had secrets too but I think my secrets would be far to complicated for him to understand..but with...
It's been three weeks since we moved out of the Tre and another week since Rashad has gotten on my last nerve. Maybe it was the lack of sex I don't know but I was so agitated with him and him me. I was in a constant discomfort and even was put on bed rest last week because one of the twins decided to face breech which is nowhere near good. I may not even be able to deliver vaginally. Rashad and my aunt say because of the baby facing breech and I say because I probably won't have my water break on it's own, apparently it's rare when you have twins. It typical that you get a C-section and have to be induced or put on bed rest. Do I like that idea?
Hell No.
Because like right now. I called Veda and Star to join me for a day out walking around the mall, buying a few things for my daughters obviously and myself. Not to mention getting some fresh air, girl time and some junk food. Rashad treats me like a princess don't get me wrong but this stubborn ass attitude towards my eating habitats and my sleep patterns has really put a stick up my ass. I already had babies pushing against the other end I didn't need that right now. I just went to get my nails done, bought myself some chocolate covered churros and a light strawberry mixed mocha when he called me livid.
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Why you ask!?
Because I got my nails done and I'm out at the mall.
Okay so let me break this all done for those of you who don't know. I am 37 weeks pregnant , aka 7 months pregnant but I'm nearing the end of my 3rd trimester. I won't make it to 40 weeks, like at all unless a miracle happens. According to our OBGYN, who is currently refusing the original plan of a home birth. Anyway so I am fairly large, my stomach protrudes out way farther than that picture depicted of me. That just shows my outfit but google search a woman pregnant with twins.
I'm fucking huge and I was just on bed rest last week, but I get his point. Even more so? Doctors sometimes frown upon a woman getting acrylics when pregnant because of the chemicals in the air as well as the chemicals used on my hands which can seep through my nail bed and skin and harm my children.
I get all of that.
But I'm not going to be pregnant much longer and I just want to enjoy it even though I'm in a lot of pain and not feeling my best and he's making it so stressful. Like who calls there pregnant girlfriend to scream about her being out with friends? Show you're concerned in a better light. All that extra is unfair to me and his children. Eventually the phone call ended and I sat there picking with my sweets.
"C'mon New don't let that ruin your groove for today. Let's go to the pool." Smiling at the idea I agreed and soon enough found myself being moderately splashed by my friends in the shallow end. All the rowdy parties where down at the deep end , where it was obviously to dangerous for me.
"Hey you heard about Ant lately?" Star asked suddenly, her nails scratching away at her head.
"Huh? No what about him?" Veda and I inquired confused, as Star pulled her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose to roll her eyes at me.
"How the hell do you live with Rashad and you fuck Teddy and not know?" We continued to stare at her like a deer in headlights so she sighed and told us.
"Rashad and Ant been going at it hard because Ant won't let go of the street life. Uncle George been calling Rashad non stop to find Ant because he keeps running off, sometimes weeks at a time. But Rashad feels like he can't leave to help him because you're pregnant." Frowning at that part, I folded my arms defensively. I knew Rashad had been getting a lot of phone calls but I never knew about that. I tried not to be that type.
"I get Ant is upset and yeah maybe it's pissed him off we moved and I took his brother but his uncle George moved to!" I retorted rolling my eyes.
"Yeah New but there still in the hood basically just a more decent part of it. You're in the hills like every other privileged white or lucky girl out the hood." Those words stung a lot but I swallowed them with a cup of glass. So what if we wanted a better life for our children ?!
"Well me being pregnant shouldn't stop him from getting his brother in check and how do you know this?" I grumbled, squinting my eyes at her.
"Because I have ears and I eavesdrop. I'm almost positive Ant is pushing for Tj and his brother again." She rushed, her eyes downcast when I responded.
"Again!?" I shuddered feeling my head spin again. When the hell was the FIRST time!? I hated the whole entire idea of this. It was like deja vu but with different people and stories. Rashad was my brother, I was Nell and Ant was well...Tj. He was the one starting issues and true to his nature Rashad would probably rush to fix them. Or try to. I gritted my teeth, as I followed closely behind the twins as we exited the pool.
"I see you getting big." Turning to look over my shoulder, I narrowed my eyes at Tonya as she got closer. Watching her fingertips inch towards my stomach, I jumped when Veda smacked her hand away from me.
"Bitch not today!" She warned, folding her arms as she glared her down. Smirking she looked at us even harder.
"I had a baby once...I just hope you don't end up having angel babies to...Best of luck to you... Erin." Holding in my shock I watched her strut away, a large smirk on her face.
"Angel babies?" Veda murmured, confused by the statement. But being witness to the many miscarriages my aunt had I knew. And apparently so did Star.
"Angel babies are children who did not survive pregnancy, childbirth or infancy..." I whispered, my eyes swelling up with tears before I could control it.
"Why the fuck would she say that to you?" They grimaced, there faces contorted in anger.
"Because that's the promise she's making to me. She may not be making it extremely clear but that's her way of telling me to watch my back....Let's go." I've dealt with this before in so many different forms and it gave me a headache to know even as old as I am I'm still faced with this mess. The mess of my past, and everything my brother and I left untouched. We didn't prosecute Tj and my brother never lived to try and convince me otherwise.
Now I regret not doing so. ••• Like Comment Share• ••• Shariah•
