momma's pride and joy

Mama's Favorite

:: An old farm house on 38 acres of farm land, near the intersection of two dirt roads in the rural Iowa prairie land, a few miles outside a small farming town, early June 1982 ::

"Kevin," Ma weakly called out from her bedroom. "Come here my sweetie."

I stood up from the sofa and hurried to her bedside.

Ma, a widowed mother of four, who had always been a strong woman, a testament to hard work, preseverence, and determination, had just been brought home from the hospital earlier today. She was currently restricted to the bed.

Struck down by a sudden onset of symptoms that currently baffled the doctors, she was weak and the doctor had told her that she had to stay in bed until she regained some of her strength.

Now she had been showing symptoms that something wasn't right, for a few years, but nothing major and nothing she felt was serious enough to warrant trying to go see a doctor. In her opinion a doctor was only going to tell her to stop working so hard, to take it easy and that was something she was never ready to do as long as she could  physically keep going. Now, she had no choice.

When my brothers (Timmy, Jessie, Jimmy, Johnny) and I came home from school a few weeks ago and found her passed out on the kitchen floor, it was heartbreaking. For a few days we didn't know if she was going to live or not. Those were the worst days of my life, at that point. I wasn't ready for her to leave us yet. I needed my Mama.

While she was in the hospital, Mama's aunt came to take care of us, but now that mom was home, her aunt packed up. She had to leave.

I guess you could say I was Ma's favorite, if you call it that. Being quiet and shy, I didn't have many friends. I liked to keep to myself and read a lot. Being home all the time, I ended up spending a lot of time helping mom out around the house, folding laundry, picking things up, assisting with dinner, and helping my youngest brothers with their homework.

It may seem sad to many, but I have always considered Ma my best friend. I could tell her anything and she'd never get mad at me and we'd talk about lots of things.

Right after auntie left for the airport, I stepped up to ma's bed and she took my hand.

"Sweetheart, I need your help with the house and your brothers. Now, more than ever," she said to me. "Someone to clean, do all the laundry, cook, and get your brothers off to school. Your brothers are going to need someone to look after their needs. Not just their physical needs, but someone to give them the motherly care that I won't be able to give as much as I'd like."

"What about Timmy?" I asked. "He's older, he's seventeen."

"Timmy's the man of the house, we talked earlier today and he's putting his senior year on hold to work full time at the factory, someone's got to bring home a paycheck. He'll go back to school next fall. What this house needs now is a woman's touch to run it and you are the closest thing I've got. Besides, even though you're only 16, you're so much more adult acting than even your older brother."

"Uh, Ma? I'm no woman, so how can I have a woman's touch?" I asked, uneasy and confused by what she meant.

"Do you see another female around here to take on the role? I don't have any daughters. That leaves you as the closest thing to what I need. You're gentle and caring, through, detail oriented, try hard to do a nice job, and are clean and tidy. That's a woman's touch. Men don't normally have that.

"And women are around to help out when someone needs them. That describes you. Your brothers and I need you. Besides, you know more about how to do the things around here than your brothers. You know what needs to be done around here, how to do it, and have the desire to see it done right. I trust you to get it all done."

Gee, I thought, I MUST have a woman's touch cause that described me real well.

"I'll try, Ma. I'll do my best. I love you and I'll do whatever you need me to do, so l you can rest and get better."

I loved my Mama and when I told her this, I meant it. Under the watchful eye of my mother I did everything that was considered the job of the woman of the house, as she would call me. I dusted, vacuumed the rugs, mopped the floors, laundered, prepared meals with Ma's instructional help, washed dishes, and took care of my bothers: Timothy age 17, Jessie age 14, Jim age 13, and Jonathan age 11.

Of course I also did what I could to help Ma get better, which included helping her getting a lot of rest. In fact, I think I had more of a "woman's touch" than Ma ever realized.

I worked really hard at taking Ma's place and the house never looked so clean. Of course everyone has their chores to do and my brothers helped me some, but I was kinda in charge, and I loved it.

Over the next few weeks, I continued taking care of everything around the house that was normally Mama's job and mom got the rest she needed.

By the end of the first month, as a result of being able to rest and the meds she was on, mom had begun getting out of the bed for short periods of time.

Whenever she was up, she would try to help me out, but other than to teach me how to do something, I wouldn't let her help.