momma's pride and joy

Happy Birthday

"Have a good days at school, boys," I told Jimmy and James as they headed out the door the following Monday morning.

"Jimmy, make sure you don't forget to turn in Johnny's museum trip form and pick up any assignments he will miss today," I called out.

Jimmy gave me a thumbs up as they continued down the road. I turned around and headed back inside, calling out to Johnny, who was still in bed.

Today happened to be Johnny's birthday and I was continuing the tradition Ma had started right after dad died.

You see, every year on each of our birthdays, Ma would allow the birthday boy to stay home from school, getting to spend quality one-on-one time with Ma, which was otherwise rare, and within reason, get to do whatever he wanted while his brothers were gone.

I remember the first time I got to stay home for my birthday, I had Ma take me to the Dairy Quick in town for lunch.

She had expected me ask for a double cheeseburger and fries or a footlong chilidog, but no. When we went to place our order at the window, I asked for a double vanilla ice cream cone dipped in chocolate and a banana split with extra whipped cream, chocolate drizzle, and three cherries on top.

When she went to say something about it, I quickly reminded her she said I could get whatever I wanted.

That birthday and every birthday after left me with wonderful memories of my one-on-one time with Ma.

We had already lost so much with Ma's recent passing, so I promised the boys we would continue this tradition.

Today, Johnny is going to get his wish. I told him last night that if he really wanted to know what wearing a dress felt like, that's what we would do today. What he doesn't know is that he's also going to find out what he would look like as a girl and we were going to go visit Mama, again.

Johnny hesitantly entered the living room, looking down at the floor.

"Are you excited," I asked.

Johnny, still looking down, barely nodded in the affirmative.

"Hey, that's not showing excitement. Do you still want to do this? I mean, if you don't, we don't have to."

"I do," he quietly replied.

"I get it, you're nervous, but you don't have to be. It's only me. It's your birthday and we're going to have fun."

He looked up and smiled, "Okay."

"That's more like it. Let's do this."

I took him by the hand and led him to Mama's room, which had now become my room.

When we got there I instructed him to get undressed, while I retrieved from the closet, a rectangular box wrapped in pink birthday paper and adorned with a darker pink ribbon bow.

I turned back around to find Johnny was standing in nothing but his briefs and a pair of tube socks sagging around his ankles, the elasticity long gone from them.

I smiled and handed him the gift.

"Happy Birthday," I offered.

He eagerly tore into the package to find a pair of frilly ankle socks, a black/pink striped hipster brief, and matching spaghetti strap beginner bra.

He looked at me, confused.

"I was thinking," I began to explain, "if you want to know what it feels like to wear a dress, then why not experience it all and also see what you'd look like as a girl."

Turning back to the closet and pulling out a larger, identically wrapped gift, I continued, "Those things your holding, I purchased at the department store. I don't consider it a waste of money since I'm thinking this might not be the only time you wear them. This," I held up the second gift, "I found at the thrift shop."

He reached for it but I pulled it back.

"Not yet. Change into those first," I explained, motioning towards the box he was holding.

I then turned around and waited.

"Okay," he meekly called out once he had changed.

I turned back around.

He looked so innocent and cute in the girly underwear and frilly ankle socks. The beginner bra was one that fastened in the front and he easily figured it out.

I handed him the second package, which he eagerly tore into, as well.

Watching as Johnny's eyes grew wide when he got his first look at the dress in the package, I began to remember how I had felt when Ma presented me my first dress.

Of course, I hadn't asked for it like Johnny had, but there was still a curiosity and nervous excitement that welled up inside me in anticipation of getting to try it on.

Johnny examined the bold red/white polka-dotted party dress with a large wave asymmetrical hem and determined which side was the front before lifting the bottom of the dress over his head.

I helped him to get his arms in the right places and pulled it down over his head.

"Hold on, wait right there," I told him before he had a chance to move toward the mirror. "I have one more present for you to unwrap."

I retrieved the gift from the closet and handed it to Johnny.

He unwrapped it and found a pair of shinny, black, patent leather, Mary Jane low-heel dress shoes. When I saw those shoes at the thrift shop, I immediately knew they were the ones, and now, the look on Johnny's face told me I definitely made the right choice.

Johnny bent down and placed the shoes on the floor.

"Have a seat, I'll help you," I offered, kneeling down in front of him, picking up one of the shoes, and releasing the buckle.

Once we had his feet in the shoes, I had him stand back up and I placed a thin silver necklace with a little silver cross on it, around his neck.

"Wait, one more thing," I told him as I retrieved something else from the dresser.

It was a pair of tiny, silver ball clip on earrings Mama had bought me a couple months ago.

I carefully clipped them on his earlobes and then turned him towards the floor length mirror, mounted on the back of the door.