FINGERTIPS ║ Larry Stylinson

6 ║ Dinner

July 8th

Louis was playing with Tamara's hair for a while when the door opened loudly on his mother, she smiled when she saw her son stroking his girlfriend's hair while she was asleep. Tamara was a great girl, always there for her son and that was probably why Jay loved her that much, she was respectful.

"Louis, Anne called, she would like to have us for diner tonight, to thank us or something. Can you just, you know, get ready?"

Jay was smiling widely, the call she got from the neighbour filled her heart with joy, she was so proud of her son, and Anne couldn't stop thanking her for what she did but Jay didn't do anything but gave birth to the boy, well, thinking about it, it was pretty much a big thing. When Louis got his diploma, his mother thought she couldn't ever feel happier and more proud of him than she was, but once again, he surprised her and made her feel the most proud mother on earth. She was just there, looking at her oldest child, begging him silently to never leave her. He nodded with a tiny smile over his thin lips but as she was going to close the door, he asked unsure:

"Can I bring Tamy?"

Jay stopped moving, she frowned a bit then sighed while making a step forward, how to say no to someone like him? He was looking at her with hope, well that's what it looked like from where she was.

"Don't you think 7 guests are enough?" she said, trying to soften her voice as much as she was able to.

The last thing she wanted was to make him think she didn't want Tamara to join, the truth was, she really didn't want to add more people, that wasn't mean, probably the opposite to be honest. But she had a big family and although she was proud of it and of all of her children, she knew it was a big thing that having 7 almost-strangers for diner.
He nodded and she smiled softly before closing the door behind her, reminding him to get ready soon because it was already passed 5pm and they probably needed to be there at 6pm. He stood up slowly, trying not to wake his girlfriend up, he grabbed some underwear, a pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top, trapping the clothes in his arm, he locked himself in the bathroom and started undressing himself. When the cold water finally hit his bruised body, he stopped the shocked scream from escaping his mouth and started shivering. He didn't turn the hot water on though, he had taken the bad habit to take cold shower for a bit now, not because he felt warm or anything, it just made all of his muscles contract at once, it was almost painful most of the time but he just had to find something. Louis never thought he was the kind of people able to hurt themselves and he didn't want to be one. He just wanted to accept himself, he wanted to be one of these boys, looking at their own reflection and listing what they liked about themselves. He got to a point that he didn't even want to look at himself anymore, he just wanted to stay in the dark, away from the light, then his eyes couldn't see any of his biggest flaws he hated so much. Louis ran his hands through his drowned hair, pulling it a bit.
When he entered his room fully dressed, he noticed Tamara was sitting on his bed and seemed mesmerized by the screen of her phone, a frown over her face. He observed her a bit, she didn't even realise he was back. She started taping on the screen, the frown never leaving her face, getting even bigger.

"What's wrong?" he asked, taking a step towards her and sitting on the edge of the bed.

She raised her head in a sudden move, like she was just caught doing something wrong, making Louis frown and look at her intensely.

"No-nothing."

Tamara never stuttered, he didn't remember hearing her stutter even once in his entire life so he knew something was wrong. Louis' mind made things always bigger and worse. He felt his heart tightening in his chest, he suddenly sat closer, his girlfriend dropped her phone on the blanket and covered it with her hands. She tried to smile but he wasn't stupid, he was able to notice when a smile was fake, he was the master at faking happiness so he knew.