FINGERTIPS ║ Larry Stylinson

30 ║All Over Again

September 10th

It was 6 pm when Anne entered the room, Harry was laying in bed already, he was tired. He also felt a bit sick, he didn't know if it was because of standing in the rain or because he had left the window opened all night. His throat was sore and his head was throbbing in pain. Maybe it was also because he hadn't received any answer from Louis. Although he didn't expect to get any reply, knowing Louis was upset and mad at him.

"Harry?" Anne said as she walked closer to the bed.

He turned around, letting her know he was listening. He felt guilty. He had sent many messages to Louis. He had tried to explain why he had done it, how he felt and how he wished Louis would forgive him for breaking his promise. He had waited hours and hours, plunged in a whole lot of stress and fear of never being forgiven.

"Baby, Louis is in the hospital."

The 16 year old boy sat down quickly, it almost seemed like every single thing had stopped all around him. The world had stopped turning, the time stopped on the clocks, there was no oxygen left for his lungs. Everything was painfully silent. What had happened? What had Louis done? And suddenly, the scariest thought hit Harry's brain. What if Louis had tried to end it all? Why if Louis had had enough and couldn't go on with life anymore? What if Louis had left him all alone? He couldn't bear the idea of losing him, of walking in the street without holding onto his elbow. Harry had failed to protect him. He had failed to take care of him. He had failed terribly and he could feel the burning tears filling his eyes.

"Hey, honey, he's fine, he's just going through medical examination."
"What.." but the words couldn't escape his mouth, they were trapped in the middle of his throat.
"I am not sure, I think he fought with someone. His sister told me he was lucky his friend was with him or it would have been worse."
"Can we go?"

And of course, Anne couldn't refuse. The visiting hours were still opened and Johannah was at the hospital with Louis. In the car, Harry couldn't stop the terrible scenarios going through his mind as they were getting closer to the hospital. He felt guilty, everything was probably his fault. But in a way, Harry wondered why Louis was making himself go through so much. The tears fell down his cheeks after pressing too hard on his eyelids. He wished he could do something. He wished he had stopped the fight at the café. But he hadn't been able to. He wished he had been with Louis to stop him from fighting, but he knew too well he would have been useless. Under his hands, Louis had felt so easily breakable lately. It seemed like if Harry held him too tightly, his bones would break into thousand pieces under his skin. When the car stopped, Harry breathed in deeply. He was scared. Would Louis even want him here? He probably hated him right now and he was not sure he wanted to hear Louis yell at him in a hospital room. But pretty quickly he was walking in the hallway, holding on his mother's arm. His stomach was upside down and he was happy he hadn't eaten much that day or he would have thrown up already.

"It's the room 115, we have to take the elevator."

When they stopped in front of the room, Harry breathed in deeply, trying to gather his strength and courage to open the door and go inside the room. He was not even sure if he had any right to be there. He was not sure if he wanted to be there. For Louis, yes, of course he wanted to be next to him. Even if it implied being yelled at for not being trustworthy. He needed to. But he hated hospital. Did anyone like hospital anyway? Harry had spent way too much time trapped in his hospital room months ago and it just brought back bad memories. Harry nodded, letting Anne know he was ready. Even though he was so far from being ready. But he knew he needed to be with Louis in those moments. He couldn't leave him alone to face this hard time. He heard the knocks on the door and a feminine voice allowing them to come in. He followed his mother inside after the door opened. His stomach was painful and he could almost feel his diner going back up. His lungs cried for more air.