KIM TAEHYUNG | taehyung x irina

fourteen

| irina's point of view

I feel so stupid for crying. I should never have cried in front of him. That action just made me feel more vulnerable around him. He made me feel safe and I don't like it. I don't like it that I'm beginning to trust him. I hate it that I feel comfortable around him because I know I shouldn't be. Me of all people should know how  difficult it is to trust someone with everything I have. Me of all people should know better than repeating mistakes of the past. Me of all people should not foolishly fall in love again.

"Irina." Taemin came out to meet me that same day. He looked worried when he saw me waiting outside the hospital. "I'm sorry I only came now, I was in the middle of a surgery.." He must've noticed my sad demeanor because he stopped talking and immediately hugged me, "I've been trying to reach you all day."

"I was with Taehyung." I confessed. He knew who he is. "I was with him the whole day and we went to an orphanage where I met this little boy.. and—"

Taemin pulled away to look at the tears that I desperately tried to hide from him. I swallowed it all back, the pain, and forced myself to face the man again, "I cried."

His gaze softened instantly as his hand gently cradled the side of my cheek, "This is why I couldn't focus on work the whole day. I knew you will be like this, especially today, his birthday."

I looked up at Taemin's face and wondered why he was doing this for me. He is from a respectable family. He already has a good future ahead of him. He's more than just attractive to any girl. He's not for me but I'm thankful he stayed beside me. I wouldn't have made it all these years if it weren't for him. I would've died everyday, thinking that I could've given my child a better future if I weren't so young and stupid. I would still be with him if I was prepared, if I was a good mother to him.

I separated myself from Taemin when I noticed people staring at us, people he worked with, people who knew him. I didn't want to ruin his reputation too so I wiped a tear away and stepped back, "I shouldn't have came here."

A smile broke on his lips. He looked around to see familiar faces, sneaking in a whisper between themselves, "You know what they call you here and you're still worried about my reputation being ruined. You should look after yourself."

Taemin placed a kiss on my temple despite the vulture-like eyes that were watching us, "Because I can't always be by your side all of the time even if I want to." He told me, brushing his thumb against my cheek in a gentle manner. "I love you."

"Taemin, you know how I feel about that.." I trailed off. I felt sorry because I just don't feel the same way. He is special to me and he always will have that special space in my heart that no one can replace but he isn't that person for me.

My expression must've been a really pitiful one because he just laughed it off as he affectionately patted my head. "I know we talked about this but, I just want to say it. It makes me feel better to have you hear it from me. You don't have to answer back."

"I have to go back now. Why don't you wait for me at home and we'll celebrate his birthday together?" Taemin suggested. For three years, we have been celebrating my son's birthday together.

That way, I'll be less lonely.

"I really appreciate you doing this, Taemin, but I have work tonight. I think it's time for me to stop this and just move on." I gave him a smile and watched him return to the hospital. He waved goodbye at me and I waved back at him.