twenty three

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| irina's point of view;

Taehyung hasn't called me in four days. He replied to my messages when I ask him why he hasn't been around lately and he says he's just busy. I know there are times when he's busy and has put work first before me but I kind of miss having him around. I miss his voice. I miss his laugh. I miss his scent around me when he hugs me or when we cuddle in bed. I just miss him so bad.

Before I decided to date him, I told myself that I wouldn't be this kind of girlfriend, that I wouldn't be the needy one but that's exactly what I am right now. I can't help thinking that he's regretting being with me. He must think I'm just a slut after I let him touch me like that in the lingerie store. He must've thought that I'm just an easy girl and now he's getting bored of me. I gave in too soon. I know I shouldn't have. It wasn't a smart move. What was I thinking?

How did I fall this fast for him? I hate it. He's just so kind to me all the time and he tries hard to understand my work. He makes an effort for me and that just makes my heart melt for some reason. I know Taemin did the same for me but in that situation, I couldn't even call it a relationship. He was too closed off. It was only me who opens up. I don't want anymore secrets. I'm tired of living half of myself as a secret. I strip for money. It's not something I can deny because I need the money but I would never sell my body for money.

I was alone in my apartment and I was going to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I saw a silhouette of a man out of my window, trying to see through the opaque glass. I silently walked to my front door, holding onto my chest because my heart was just racing in fear. The figure of the man outside my window continued to peek inside my apartment. I quietly locked the deadbolt on my front door and winced when it made a sound, a click.

The man outside heard it and assumed I was home. He straightened up and knocked on my door. I stayed quiet, holding my breath. He rang my doorbell a few times, calling my name. He knew me yet I have no idea who this stranger is. It was almost 5am. I arrived at home 30 minutes ago. What if this man followed me here?

"Irina, please open the door. I know you're there." He said and it almost sounded like a threat in his voice. He banged on the door. "I just want to talk and see you."

"I heard you inside." He added, "I can hear your breathing behind this door. Please. I really just want to see you."

In all my life, I have never encountered a situation like this. I didn't know what to do. Last week I heard the girls talking about a creepy man following them around and asking for their time to talk somewhere. Maybe it was this man. Half an hour has passed. The knocking stopped and I wondered if he left already. I contemplated if I should try and open the door to see if he left but I couldn't do it.

I was startled when he cupped his hands against my window again and tried to look inside. I almost made a sound if it weren't for my hand cupped over my mouth. He banged his fist against my window and I got scared. Is he trying to break in?

I shuffled to my bedroom, locking the door behind me as I tried to find my phone. My fingers were trembling as I heard another loud banging on the front door. I called Taehyung, the phone pressed to my ear as it rang a few times. He wasn't picking up. I tried again as I was crouched on the foot of my bed, "please pick up, Tae."

"Hello?" I was so relieved to hear his voice.

"Irina?" He spoke and I heard the rustling of his covers in the background being pulled away from his body. He noticed my breathing and immediately sensed something was not right. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"There's someone outside my door." I rambled as I explained to him how the man followed me home and how he was still outside trying to break my window.

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